Why do I have to be the bad guy? I know that I can't be the only one that it bothers?
This weekend on Sunday for Father's Day we spent the day at my father in law's house. It was my idea. I thought it would be nice to get together with my husband's father and his step mom and do dinner. Since we didn't buy him a gift, this was our way of saying happy Father's Day.
While discussing the plan for going to his dad's house, the time frame for departure was agreed upon. This is something that I have to set when going to his house. You cannot go blind, per say, to their house. It's a horrible way of dealing with family, but after many times of bad visits, this is what it has come to. We agreed on 7pm.
What we didn't know was that his step mother decided to invite everyone else over too. My husband's brother, his wife, their son, his step brother and his girlfriend and their children. We find this out after getting there. I wasn't thrilled, for many reasons.
One, because I brought food to prepare and was not prepared to feed and extra seven people. Two, my BIL's son is a bad influence on my children and I have to watch him like a hawk around my kids. Three, his step brother is an alcoholic and drinks like a fish. He pretty much takes after his mother (the step mom).
I thought that we would be "safer" having dinner at home since last year's Father's Day was a close disaster at a restaurant.
His step mom drank wayyyy too much something before getting there, during the 45 minute wait to be seated and during dinner. She was belligerent to the waiter, loud as hell while preparing her salads at the salad bar and made everyone very uncomfortable during the meal. I swore to my husband that that was the very last time I would ever eat in public with her again.
I was dead wrong.
His step mother had been drinking prior to our arrival and and continued through the day.
It was very uncomfortable dealing with her. For one, I had to use her kitchen to cook the dishes of food I was preparing. I wished that I was some where else. Thankfully I was able to share laughs and wth looks with my sister in law during this. She feels the same way I do about having to be there.
But it didn't help with her comments and repeated questions about what I was making. Why was I making that? And that she felt so bad because she didn't make home made potato salad and bought hers. And then a few minutes after she returned from her cigarette break she would start all over again with her questions. The very same questions she had already asked me.
The drinking ensued.
When she starts bugging my kids is when I get unnerved. They were being very, very good. They were sitting on the couch playing their DS's and she interrupted them to insist that they sit next to her. Give her a hug. Hang out with her. Yada yada yada.
Now she only showed them attention because her son's children did not come. Apparently there is an issue with his girlfriends' parents and they will not allow the children to leave their house.
Because if those grand children had been at the house, my children would have been ignored.
The rest of the day went on like this until dinner. Of course we had our dinner drama when I asked if we should put an extension in the table to have more seats around it. She went cuckoo about that. I was almost at my wits end.
Finally at 8pm, an hour after the agreed upon time, we were able to start packing up to leave. I ordered the kids to get their backpacks and their gear to go. And she started her departing antics." Are you leaving? Why are you leaving? Is it already time to go? Are you just packing and staying? When can we do this again?"
I was done.
Done. Done. Done.
I was pretty mad about the circus that went on that day. I told myself, no more. I can't do this anymore. I wasn't going to say anything to my husband, but then Miss K said something about how grandma was acting. I knew that one day she would notice the abnormal behavior. I tried explaining to her about it but decided that enough was enough.
I told my husband about our conversation. Sadly, we will not be going over there anytime soon.
There are some deep underlying problems with his step mother that I haven't even touched on here. If given the back ground on why I feel the way I do, then it might make more sense. Last year's restaurant episode was not the first time she has gotten intoxicated and acted out of line. She is medically bi polar and refuses to take her medicine, she shouldn't be consuming alcohol but she does. Was supposed to have gone to a medical facility to get help, it never happened. She says that she doesn't need a doctor, psychiatrist or "head" doctor to help her. \
As I have said to my husband before and said again. It's not about us anymore. The kids will not deal with this or witness this. They are our responsibility to protect.