Tuesday, April 26, 2011

RemembeRED:Going up in Flames

In one evening my life was spiraling out of control and I could do nothing to stop it. One moment I'm smiling and enjoying the evening with a hundred children the next I'm collapsed on the floor of my kitchen sobbing tears. I will never forget that moment in my life when my husband walked out of my life and I was caught off guard.

The emptiness. The fear of the unknown of what the future held for me. I had to collect myself for the children. At that moment my life wasn't about me anymore, it was about the well being of my two innocent children.

I was numb and went through the motions that evening. Baths. Teeth. Brushing hair. Vitamins. Bed time stories. Kisses and hugs.

After that, I couldn't tell you what I did. If I had to guess ,I cried myself to sleep that night. If I even slept that much. I remember being exhausted mentally and physically.

The morning didn't bring much peace to my mind, but I continued through what was expected of me as a mother. I would not let my problems affect their lives. Not then. Not yet. I hoped that he would call and we could work it out before the kids questioned why he wasn't there.

I knew that I couldn't do this alone, but my husband, their father was unreachable.

Not answering my calls.

I did what I was afraid to do. The shame of being a woman whose husband walked out on her is not the label I wanted. But I called my friend,I needed to tell some one. She did not judge me. She listened to my cries and sobs. She was there for me.

I would not have survived that weekend if she had not been there for me. She held me up when I felt that I couldn't go on. She stood by side. She stepped in like a friend, a good friend should do. I am forever grateful for her compassion, love and friendship.

I grew up that weekend and learned a few things about myself. I discovered that when I am weak, that it's okay to ask for help and turn to some one. I realized that I don't always have to have it all together, that no one is perfect. I learned who my true friends are. I learned to let my walls down and open up to others besides just my husband.

This vulnerable time in my life opened doors to friendships that were still in the developing stages. Those friendships are stronger and those women have built me up in ways that I never expected.

I am forever grateful for their presence in my life that weekend and thereafter. I can't imagine where I would be if they had not been there. You find your true friends amidst the flames. When your life is in flames, the ones pulling you out are the ones who love you the most.

This week we want you to recall something in your life that seemed terrible at the time, but looking back, brought you something wonderful.

A positive from a negative experience.


Booksandcandy said...

My husband and I healing from our second miscarriage. i I hate making a positive thing out of this negative event but if anything positive is going to come out of it is the fact that I am not waiting anymore for anything. I am sending my husband back to school to find a career he loves, I am pursing my dream of becoming a sign language interpreter. If we want to take a day trip on a Saturday we are. Tired of waiting for the perfect day, the perfect weather, enough money, etc. I will live my life starting now. That's what I have learned.

Hindi SMS said...

great message