I went out with some friends this weekend and shortly before meeting up with the gang, I was told some shocking news. One of the couples that I have known for quite some time, have separated. I was shocked and not surprised. If that makes any sense.
Shocked because I would have thought that they would actually separate. Their relationship had been rocky for a little while, but all relationships have valleys and mountains to overcome.
Not so surprised because even on the outside they might have seemed okay, but you could tell that it wasn't going so well. There were lots of issues going on. It was only a matter of time.
I came home after an enjoyable evening with friends with my mind swimming. I shared the news with my husband. His reaction was parallel to mine. We talked about some of the friendships we have and their marriages.
Then he dropped the bomb. He shared with me a secret that I wish he had not. The news he had, was told to him several weeks ago. Maybe he wanted to get it off his chest. It was probably eating him alive, like a virus. Sharing it with me was his way of letting it go.
But it's stuck with me.
I can't do anything with it. If I told anyone else that knows the people involved, they could accidentally let it slip. I don't need to have my name tied to it in any way. Then the parties involved would know that my husband told me. You see where I'm going with this?
The other part of it is that what I know, really burns me. I am infuriated with this person. It's not my place to judge, because I know that one day they will have to answer to a higher power and explain themselves. And even if they tried to lie, HE will know their heart.
HE knows the truth.
I feel a little better now, knowing that I sort of got this off my chest and that I am going to give this to God. I'm going to let him sort it out, because as much as I love the person that this could hurt, I love them too much to say anything.
14 comments:
Yes, sometimes it is best to let go and let God.
That sounds so frustrating! But your right, they will be judge eventually.
Thanks. It's pretty much where I'm at with it.
On Wednesday, September 14, 2011, Disqus <
Very frustrating. I've decided to push it out of my mind and let it go. It's not worth what it could cause to do anything but that.
On Wednesday, September 14, 2011, Disqus <
I hate being on that side of things. I still have "secrets" I'm holding on to from years ago because family is involved and they are better off not knowing. Like you - I'd rather not have the information in the first place.
I'm very good at keeping secrets but I hate doing it. If it is something I can't do anything about, I would so much rather operate in blissful ignorance. I hope your friends sort it out without causing each other too much pain. Separation/Divorce sucks.
UGH! That stinks! What a tough spot.
I hate that, I wish people would talk it out with the person involved instead of telling everyone else.
That is such a hard place to be... secrets suck!! I wish people could just be honest and work their stuff out without telling others about it. I feel for the poor person it would hurt if they knew, because one day it will probably come out no matter how hard the other person doesn't want it too and it will make it worse finding out others knew. What a hard place to be... sorry you are in this spot!
I hate secrets, someone told me one 8 years ago, I slipped, and it destroyed a 13 year old friendship...for something I didn't want to know anyway...I'm truly sorry you have to carry this
Secrets are such a double-edged sword. They're horrible to keep, and horrible if other people know. I'm glad just talking about the secret has helped you a little, even if you can't say it outright.
Ouch. That's one tough situation. At least you have your husband to still talk to about it, right?
Secrets really are tough. I read this great essay in "Real Simple" a while back about a mom who had a God jar. She'd write things on it on little slips of paper so she could give things over to God and let them go. She'd do it for anyone else, too, as long as that person promised to truly give it over and let go of it. I thought this was lovely. Her daughter found the (many!) jars years later after her mom died and treasured all the thoughts, hopes, worries, and even secrets her mom had over the years. Anyway, I hope that you really will be able to let it go because it shouldn't be your burden to carry!
I detest secrets for this reason... what an awkward (although that seems to benign a word) place to be in.
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