WW: Whose Effort?

So this weeks at Mama Kat's she posted this photo as one of her prompts and prompt #5 says, I have no idea where the following message originated from, but it’s been floating around Facebook for the past week…who does it make you think about?:

This thought was on my mind this week and really on my heart tonight while driving home. I had the pleasure of being able to drive home from church without the offspring tonight. Yeah, I'm feeling kinda raw lately and my babies are the offspring tonight. They were a little off the wall today.  Okay, I'm getting off track.

I'm going to answer this question, without really answering it. Yeah I know, that defeats the purpose but, it's my blog.

They know who they are. Every one has people in their life, or maybe shouldn't be in their life that fits that statement. My sister in law calls it "cleaning your friends closet".

The first time she told me that, I was like what the??? you want me to do what???

I haven't followed her mantra but sometimes it just happens on it's own. Sometimes I wish it would happen on it's own without any effort from me. That would be easy.

So if they don't make the effort, then why should I???

Enough said. 







 

WW: Where I'm From

I am from hand sewn school dresses from two generations of grand mothers. From Koolaid stained upper lips and Saturday morning cartoons with the Gummi Bears.

I am from the "house on the hill", where every kid wanted to ride their bicycle down and the only house on the block with a swimming pool to cool off in.

I am from the azalea garden that was so overgrown that you could hide in it for hours chasing bugs or picking weeds as punishment on a weekend. And the sand spurs or stickers as some people call them, that hurt like hell when you get them stuck in bare feet.

I am from strolling through the Livestock and County Fair every year in the fall, while indulging on fried elephant ears and cotton candy: and hot tempers that flare. I am from Marie and Estus Sr.and Bastian and Bailey.

I am from playing games of Uno late on Saturday nights and birthdays celebrated with home made cakes from a box. From having relatives close enough by to be there to celebrate birthdays that weren't even milestones.
From "Two shakes of a lamb's tail" and ghosts really did visit us that night in your grandma and grandpa's house.

I am from Protestant and attempts at finding the right church, to succumbing to the demands of owning a business and letting religion go.
I’m from Florida, lineage leading to Germany, Poland, Ireland and Scotland, mom's homemade meatloaf with the sauce topping, pumpkin pie and the never ending supply of home made jarred pickles.

 From the time that when the guys(my brother, husband, father and grandfather) came home from a fishing trip early, grandpa stripped down to his t-shirt and walked through the house with no underpants like there wasn't a care in the world and pretending with my brother that we would shrink to the size of his GI Joes and wake up that way the net morning.

I am from mass amounts of containers and rubbermaid bins with old family photos, toothless school pictures and sleeves of negatives. Baby photos beautifully framed and line the bookshelves in hallways, the family Bible encased in a protective fiberglass case and a oil painting of the grandparents flank two walls in the living room.

I am from the brown haired, green eyed girl who loved on all the wayward animals that my daddy brought home, unconditionally loved the companionship of my siblings even when they found being with a girl annoying. Raised to stand up for herself and taught to fight with her fists and deal with the consequences later.

I am from good southern roots who met a boy who was born to Yankees.

This was written in response to the prompt: Where I’m From. Copy this template and fill in the blanks. Inspired by our Bloggy Boot Camp Writer’s Workshop.

Writer's Workshop- School Days

Top ten reasons why you’re glad you’re done with school.

Drama. The social drama of dealing with who's popular, who's not. Is your friend going to be your friend today. Or with they make you a social outcast again. I really, really detest drama.

Facebook. I am so glad they didn't have this when I was in school. Refer to the first reason and it goes hand in hand. I enjoyed being able to go home and get away from all that. Now, you're expected to have a page and have 500+ friends.

Clothing styles. I know that they say all styles rotate through generations, but they can keep the skinny jeans. They make girls like me look like a pear. I would have to opt for shorts and freeze my butt off during the winter.

Digital cameras. Growing up in the 80's we lived with film cameras and it was fun to have your photo taken and the film developed. You never knew if you weren't in some ones photos, because it wasn't digital.

Cursive writing. Many schools are not teaching this anymore. I can't wait to see the future generations signatures.

Texting and cell phones. What happened to passing notes in class and the adrenaline rush of not getting caught.? Those were the days.

Music and arts classes. School funding is in the toilet and has depleted the amount of creative arts classes from elementary school all the way through high school. One of the reasons I have my daughter enrolled in dance classes and taking art camps in the summer. Where are my ta dollars going??

Dating. It isn't the same anymore. Boyfriends breaking up with you via Facebook or texting. Where is the dignity?

I can't think of 2 more. Some things haven't changed since I went to school. So using some of the reasons wouldn't make sense for me. I pretty much focused on how different things are now to as they were over 20 years ago for me. I would never want to repeat school and go back and have to do it over now. Most of my information is derived from my own daughter going to school and my niece and nephew who are 12 and 16. You hear the horror stories about school life and the trials they have been through. It's no walk in the park, whenever and wherever you go.

Writer's Workshop: Bad Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine. Or is it? When laughing in the correct atmosphere, where it is an acceptable form of expression given the circumstances.

At a comedy club, in the presence of friends at a birthday party or at your friend's wedding when she smashes cake all over her new husband's face. But finding yourself chuckling at Aunt Mary's funeral while your cousin is giving a eulogy is not a good way to express your condolences.

I can name many times that I have laughed an inappropriate times. When my son fell off the ladder in his bedroom and was crying that he got a boo boo, was not a fine time to smile and fight off a chuckle. It doesn't make me a bad mom. I would think it would if it was the first time but since this incorrect expression has happened many times in my life, I just figure I'm wired wrong.

I've found myself trying to stifle a laugh when a friend of mine was getting yelled at by another friend. I should have been angry but I couldn't get that part of me to trigger to anger. I actually had to walk away and compose myself before returning to the room.

About a month ago, I read a blog somewhere that gave a name for it. But I spent over an hour trying to find it again without any luck.

I've never laughed at a funeral or church at the wrong time. Thankfully. I'm not sure I'd be able to explain my sudden outburst of laughter.

This post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. This week I chose prompt 5 and wrote my non fiction piece, in my own words.


5.) I sometimes laugh when I’m uncomfortable…or being yelled…or in church…or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

Writer's Workshop-There you Are

There you are in the early light of day

There you are in the quiet words I pray
I've been blessed by the simple happiness
Of the perfect love we've made

Every time I turn around
When I'm lost and when I'm found
Like an angel standing guard
There you are

Every time I take a breath and when I forget to breathe
You're watching over me there you are
When I'm looking for the light in the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are

There you are standing in a crowded room
There you are the earth and I'm the moon
My desire is to stand by the fire
That burns inside of you

Every time I turn around
When I'm lost and when I'm found
Like an angel standing guard
There you are

Every time I take a breath and when I forget to breathe
You're watching over me there you are
When I'm looking for the light in the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are

When i'm looking for the light in the middle of the night
Searching for the brightest star
There you are

There you are
There you are

There You Are by Martina McBride

I'm linking up with Mama Kat this week and I chose prompt 5, a song with significance. I chose my wedding song, because it brings back so many memories to me. This year I will have been married to my significant other for 10 years! Thank you hubs for being there for the good, the bad, the ugly and everything in between.

Writer's Workshop-Inspire

4.) What inspired you this week?

a~my two beautiful blessings

The desire to change my attitude and outlook on life is different. I decided that I didn't want to be dependent on medicine anymore, for many reasons. Not just because the side effects have been a pain in the rear or almost worse than what good they are doing for me, but because I am tired of feeling like I'm in a cloud sitting with a happy face on. I couldn't wait for my three month check up to come fast enough so I weaned myself off one of the anti-depressants myself.
My doctor visit was this morning and the visit went like it always has and then I dropped the bomb on my doc. I told him I wanted to stop the meds. He wasn't shocked like I was worried that would happen. He was very reassuring and glad that my self removal of one went well and I was handling the stress fine. He said it would be very easy to stop taking the other and it about twelve days I will be medicine free.
I know that being without the medicine, some of my issues can and possibly will resurface and I am seeking a counselor to work through my issues. I'm not scared and extremely excited about this new step in a new direction of controlling my life.
I want to be the new me that I seek. The person who can handle stressful situations with a level head and not blow things out of proportion. I want to be able to enjoy the things in life and learn to control my OCP ( Obsessive Controling Personality) and channel that obsessive in a more positive way. I am tired of suppressing that part of me. It is who I am. I am not expecting a miracle and this will not come over night but I'm headed in the right direction. I know that God is on my side and I have faith that he is leading me there.


This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Weekly Writer's Workshop.

I also decided that this was something I wanted to Pour my Heart Out about, since I shared my doubts about being on meds back on a previous PYHO. Thank you to all of you who were understanding and sincere about my choice.

Writer's Workshop: 02/10/11

5. Read the following quote and respond: “Sometimes you have to break the rules around you to keep the rules within you” -Martha Beck O Magazine

Mark 4:22 (see also Luke 8:17) says, “What is hidden is meant to be seen. And what is put out of sight is meant to be brought out into the open. (NIV)
Luke 12:2-3 says, “Everything that is secret will be brought out into the open. Everything that is hidden will be uncovered. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight. What you have whispered to someone behind closed doors will be shouted from the rooftops.”


What if this was true? God sees everything we do, think or say so why shouldn't every one else see what we have done? To commit the sin in front of God is one thing, but if you knowingly committed the sin and everyone else was going to know about it, would you rethink it? Would you think twice about it? That would be the deciding factor for some people.

Why shouldn't the fact that you are doing wrong in God's eyes a factor? We should know that he will be upset with us and that one day we are going to have to explain all of our sins.

So that's why it's important to have a faithful, religious community of friends to pick us up if we fall short or feel like that we have no other choice but to make the wrong decision. We should feel safe to tell them about our misgivings and mistakes before we make them.

God made rules for us to follow and they are pretty simple. They leave a lot of room to make the right decisions and still follow them. Breaking the rules is a sin, bending the rules is a sin.

I am in no way saying I'm perfect by any means. Heck, I've got a long road to try and get there and I'm sure as heck that I probably never will. I can always strive to get to that point and remember that some one is always watching. If that little voice in your head says "it's not right"I think you should listen. If you knew that there was a repercussion for your actions, wouldn't you think twice about it?

Writer's Workshop- This Woman's Worth

I am sure I have said this or written this before but I fully
believe that God puts you in places that he wants you
in and with the free will he has given us we choose where to
go from there. We might not recognize it right away
maybe even after we don't pass the test.
So this morning I am click into Mama Kat's and found
a prompt that is exactly what was on my mind.
What is the message that God is conveying to me?

The Prompt I chose or was led to today was

2.) You’re not always right…no you’re not…no you’re not…no you’re not….tell us about a time you were wrong.

I am not always right, even if I swear and be damned that I think I am right, I still could be wrong. Number one thing is, I don't like to be wrong. It's one of my downfalls and I'll admit it but usually after it's too late. I'm not perfect and I know that, because NO ONE is perfect. We all strive to be like Jesus, our Christ and Saviour but we fall short. We are sinners.

I was wrong yesterday in posting my PYHO. I probably should have waited to post such a post for a later date once I had cleared my thoughts and feelings. I chalk this up as another learning experience because I have no choice but to reflect on where I stand now. The Lord has given me this time to think and pray about what actions I took in the heat of the moment. I should know better than to react when my emotions are raw. My emotions get in the way of my brain and I don't think clearly.

I'm not going to solely blame this on my chemical problems and having to depend on medicine to control my anger, stress and emotions but it's partly to blame. I'm lapsing and the meds aren't working like they should. I find myself getting irritated again and getting upset over stupid crap.

But honestly, I was hurt and sad about the situation with my friend and I can't apologize for being upset. But I should have left it at that and confronted the situation differently. I handled the problem callously and I was wrong. I forget that not everyone is like me. I told my husband that I blame my way of dealing with situations is more like a man than a woman sometimes, one of my downfalls to growing up a tomboy who had more guy friends than girls. I'm still learning how to be a woman's friend without causing strife.

Men get mad, make accusations and argue, then they're done. They make up and the fight is done. Women do not. They argue, it festers, they get hurt, they hold grudges and when it's all said and done it's too late. Me, I'm like a combination. I get all upset, I hash it out and then I want to make up and it be all better.

I don't like being wrong but I can't always be right.

Writer's Workshop- Let them be little

If you choose to accept this task of writing for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop you will be expected to choose one or more of the writing prompts. I chose #3 this week. I love writing when some one else has good ideas, not like I don't have great things to write about, I just seem to forget them a lot of the time.

3.) It has been said that kids these days are pushed into too many extra-curricular activities and are not given the freedom to play and be bored and to use their imaginations. Is this true?

I wouldn't say ALL children fall into that category but a lot do. In my opinion most of these children would probably be happier if their parents didn't sign them up for football, baseball, guitar lessons and soccer all in one season. Do those kids really need all that extra activity in one day after school and on weekends? Not really. Kids need to be kids and enjoy playing make believe games and exploring the outside world. An eight year old child moderately riding their bicycle for an hour will burn 136 calories. Think about when you were a kid and you used to ride your bike for hours on the weekdays after homework was done and you would ride your bike to your friends house three blocks away and you guys would jump on your bikes to ride to your other friend's house. That would be at least 300 calories burned on one Saturday alone.

I'm not saying that joining extra-curricular activities is bad, but all in moderation. If your daughter likes to dance, then join a few classes a week putting in 4-5 hours a week. But don't add cheerleading which leads to cheering at games on the weekends and night practices along with her dance class schedule. Where does that leave time for family interaction during dinner? It doesn't. You'll be eating dinner in your mini van, grabbing McDonald's or Wendy's or maybe even some Chick Fil A and eating on the run.Well you might as well discredit the activities as being for weight loss. Your child will only be burning those fast food consumed calories and fat. We won't get into how many calories are in those chicken nuggets.

I agree that kids need interaction with other kids in an activity that they love, whether or not they are good at it. But all in moderation. Let kids be kids, they're only little once.

Writer's Workshop-12/9

This week I am joining again with Mama Kat with her weekly blog carnival Writer's Workshop. This week seems pretty easy considering that the five prompts are one word. Easy? Maybe. The word that jumped out at me was bold. BOLD. Here goes nothing.
If only I could simply say what is on my mind without repercussion. I don't enjoy biting my tongue about things that should be said. Aren't we all friends here? If we are friends than you won't mind me telling you the truth about what I really think. I don't mind if you tell me what you think because it's your opinion and if I agree then fine. If I don't agree then maybe I can use some constructive criticism. It's healthy.
But I am not bold enough to really state the facts and my opinion is just not that, it's the truth. The truth hurts. So I can't go there and poison what I have. Although do I really have anything if I feel the way that I do? If something bothers me that much then I should go there. I should say something and let the chips fall where they will. It could end up like Humpty Dumpty and never get put back together again or maybe it would? Maybe the glue that sticks us together is strong enough for me to go there.
Honestly I may never know. I'm not ready to go there just yet. I like to just sit back and watch. Waiting like a crouching tiger for the right moment. And when that moment strikes, watch out! Because I will BOLDLY go where no one has gone before.

Pour Your Heart Out: Nightmare of Reality

I woke up hoping it was all a nightmare. Sleep was overrated and I didn't even rest deep enough to get to the point for dreams. I rolled over in my bed and felt the cold spot next to me. The unused pillow lay next to me and the room was quiet except for the sound of the radio. It wasn't a bad dream it was the reality that my husband wasn't there. It was one of the worst nights of my life and it wasn't the first one, unknowable to me.

Like a machine I moved through my morning routine trying not to let the pain show. If I didn't think about the obvious absence of him it wouldn't be so bad. Waking the kids wasn't cheerful for me even though I smiled at their sleepy faces. They didn't ask where he was and it made the start of the day a bit easier.

My niece had spent the night and I needed to keep three children busy while making them breakfast. It was a quiet breakfast with the sound of cartoons in the background. I had previously planned to take them out for the day and tried to stay focused on getting out of the house. If I kept myself busy with them and left the emptiness, I might have been able to hold it together.

I didn't plan on my husband walking away from our marriage. Who does?

Sadly, my sister in law showed up early that morning to pick up her daughter. I was sad for my daughter who was looking forward to spending the afternoon with her. To not upset her anymore, I still kept the plans to take the kids out. I needed to get out of the house. Staying there would only keep reminding me that my husband was gone.

He wasn't talking to me, he wasn't answering his phone and I wasn't quite sure where we stood.

After a few phone calls from concerned family and friends, I loaded the kids in the van to go out. We met up with my best friend and her daughters and spent the morning playing at a Family Fun Fair. Afterwords we went out to lunch. My friend was being very supportive and let me choose where to go. I picked a restaurant I had never been at before in hopes to keep my mind off the situation at hand.

It wasn't easy with a 3 year old and a 6 year old. They were fighting over toys and who was going to sit next to mommy. The daily thing that wouldn't normally bother me too much. My patience was thin and I tried blocking it out. This wasn't fair. I was left to take care of our children and had no escape. I managed lunch the best that I could and didn't care if either of them finished their meal or not. I couldn't stop dwelling on the fact that the day was half over and still no phone call from my husband.

My friend wanted to go to Target and I agreed to go to avoid going back home alone. The grocery shopping was not much fun. I had to get some items we were out of but I had no idea if I should buy certain things or not. Why should I buy items that only he uses if he's not coming back? Why did everything have to make me think about the problem at hand? Why couldn't I just block it out?? I was so weak mentally at this point, I even let the kids convince me to buy them chocolate morsels and open them while leaving the store.

It was going on five o'clock at this point and I knew that letting them eat chocolate was a big mistake. On the way home Little E fell asleep which was not a good idea but considering how drained I was feeling it didn't matter. After getting home and putting him to bed for a late nap, I sat down and felt all alone. The fear of the unknown was creeping in on me.

By 6:30 I couldn't even think of what I was going to cook. Thank God for great friends because my best friend bought and delivered a pizza for us for dinner. I was failing as a strong mother and woman at this point and letting depression take over. Something that my medication couldn't even keep from happening.

I couldn't take it much more and texted my husband's stepmother to see if she had heard if he was coming home. Waiting for the cell phone to ding it's familiar chime for a text I jumped when it did. I was washing the dishes and couldn't get my gloves off fast enough to see what it said.

It was him.

He was telling me that he would not be coming home again this evening and that I needed to stop calling and bothering everyone else about his whereabouts. Really? He left me and now he was calling the shots? I guess at that point what choice did I have. I wanted him to come home to discuss what the hell was going on so I had to comply. If I turned irate and went all kinds of crazy then he was definitely not coming home.

After several minutes of text he was gone again. I was crushed. I called my best friend in sobbing tears and tried to speak to her. She couldn't understand my uncontrollable weeping and said "I'll be right there." I continued to bawl my eyes out, something I didn't want to do in front of the kids. But the pain was too unbearable anymore and I felt like I was hitting rock bottom.

My other best friend showed up unknowing the state I was in. She was stopping by to check in on me and found me weeping. By the time she had me sitting back down my other best friend had showed up. They tried their best to calm me down and helped take care of my kids for me. I am forever grateful to them for being there for me. I hope I never have to be there for them under the same circumstances but I will be in a heartbeat if the situation arises.

After a few glasses of wine, to calm my nerves, and a few hours of talking my friends went home to their families. I was alone again in a quiet house. I went through my normal routine of closing the house up and settling in bed for the evening. It was going to be a long night. Exhausted from the mental anguish, I passed out watching tv. The television, my personal pacifier.

I woke up, wishing it was all a bad dream, another nightmare but I rolled over and saw the empty spot next to me. The pillow was cold and the comforter on that side untouched. I survived another evening and a full day without knowing where my life stood. Could I do it again?


This post was inspired by Mama Kat's writer's workshop writing prompts from last week's choices. I am also submitting this as my Pour Your Heart with Shell at Thing's I Can't Say.

Writer's Workshop:Rinse and Repeat

This week I am linking up with Mama Kat and doing some Writer's Workshop. I love this meme. When my creative juices are not flowing I love picking one of her prompts and going with it. This week #4 caught my eye.

Prompt #4

4.) Can it be saved? Think of something that is ruined when it’s totally wet: like a newspaper or a piece of cheese. Write a scene (truth or fiction) that involves you and a soaked item.
(inspired by writingfix.com)


I found this amazing recipe with chicken, mushrooms, wine and a few other various ingredients that I wanted to try to make. My husband loves mushrooms and I showed him the delicious idea I was thinking and he was salivating at the thought of a yummy mushroom meal. Unfortunately I tried waiting until mushrooms were on sale before attempting this recipe. When I finally bought the earth grown, dirty little fungus' I had planned out a perfect weekly menu. But a perfectly set up menu doesn't mean a load of crap when your week gets all jacked up. Several crazy evenings of grabbing dinner on the go and making quick dinners of mac and cheese my mushrooms sat and waited.
I finally decided a week later that I was going to make this special dish for my husband. I pulled out my dirty little white, eerrr gray colored earth fungus and set them out. Like I always do with my vegetables and fruits I was going to wash the dirt or pesticides from them. They appeared to be border line on going bad but I figured a good bath would fix that. I took out my colander and dumped both containers in. I turned on the water and washed them vigorously to remove a few traces of slimyness. I let them soak in the water for a few moments and started browning my chicken.
When it came time to drop in the mushrooms for cooking they just didn't seem quite right. I browned them as I normally would adding my garlic then the white wine and the recipe required cooking them until all the liquid was gone. Well I was cooking and cooking and cooking. This went on for quite some time. What was wrong with my mushrooms? I turned up the heat and thought maybe higher heat would do the trick. Not the case. I gave up and removed my skillet from the stove top.
I turned on my computer and googled mushrooms. I searched prep and care of mushrooms. It says that you should quickly rinse, pat dry and use immediately. Oh great! I ruined them with the water bath!! So needless to say my recipe was a bust. Those mushrooms had taken on so much water like sponges that they pretty much cooked to mush.
I cannot remember what my back up meal plan was but I'm sure it involved a delivery driver and some garlic bread. Those little fungus'!!

Writer's Workshop- What my little girl might say

This week I chose prompt #1 for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Dear Mommy/Daddy write a letter from one of your children to you. I loved this idea.

Miss K- October 2009

Dear Mommy,

I never realized how much work you put into the week to take care of me. I haven't put much thought into even one day of the stuff you do for me. It's nice to have a mommy wake me up and let me crawl back into the recliner when I am not ready to face the world. I love that you make my breakfast for me and put it on the table. I enjoy sitting next to my brother even if we do get into trouble if we talk or play too much. I really wish you would let me have chocolate milk and get rid of the red container of milk. It tastes yuck! Have you tried it yet? I really wish you would get the purple container again. I promise I will drink at least two glasses a day. Pretty please.
Thank you for picking out my outfit everyday. I wish you would just let me wear my flip flops to school. I don't mind wearing them all the time.
I know I should make my bed faster and get dressed instead of playing with my toys but it's more fun. I am a big girl now and I can get it all done before we leave. I know I should read the clock but what fun is that?
I love it when you pick me up from school. Thank you for getting there on time yesterday because I was worried the first day. You took a LONG time. It was getting hot out there on the sidewalk. I know the other kids were waiting too but it seemed like forever.
I wish you would let me have a snack of chocolate chip cookies instead of the banana or apple in the afternoon. It will fill me up more. I promise that I won't get "hyper" as you say. I'll share the cookies with Little E. I promise. Really!
Thank you for picking up my toys while I went to school. I know I forgot to turn off my radio again but Teeko likes to listen to the music. It'll be okay mom. Can we get a slushee everyday? I love the slushees. They are refreshing.
Thank you mom for reminding me to brush my teeth and hair every night. I am forgetful and I am so busy playing on the bunk bed that I forget. I love you mommy. You are the best and I love you.
Can we get a slushee now?
Love,
Miss K

Writer's Workshop

It's becoming one of my favorite meme's to link up to! It's Thursdays edition of Writer's Workshop with Mama Kat! Pick a prompt or two or all of them!! Write about it and link up! This week I chose prompt #5.
5.) Write a list of 100 things you want to do before you turn 100. Otherwise known as a “bucket list”.

This is going to take some thought. So here goes nothing.

1. Take a ride on a train to another state. My grandparents did this one year to go to New York.
2. Speaking of New York, I want to go to New York City and see Central Park and Times Square.
3. Celebrate New Year's in Times Square, with my party hat and kazoo and screaming with my hubby "10, 9, 8, 7....."
4. Go horseback riding on a deserted beach in the Bahamas or Jamaica.
5. Go scuba diving in a coral reef and discover the beauties of the underwater deep.
6. Experience deep sea salt water fishing with my husband.
7. Take photography classes at the local state college and learn what I don't know about aperture, lighting and back lighting.
8. Take my kids white water rafting.
9. Go into the mountains and cut down our own Christmas tree and drag it to the truck and drive it home.
10. Fly to France and take a two to three week trip through vineyards, museums, bistros and taste croissants and cheese.
11. Plan a large dinner party of just adult guests of about 20 people dressed to nines complete with butler/maid service.
12. Get a full body massage with hot rocks, oils and steam by the beach.
13. Swim naked in a secluded waterfall in Jamaica.
14. Travel to Africa and see the elephants, lions, hyenas, baboons and tribes in their natural setting.
15. Travel to Kenya to meet my sponsored Compassion child.
16. Sponsor a homeless family and give them a Christmas dinner and presents one year.
17. Remove my wedding dress from the trunk it's stuffed into and have it dry cleaned and stored.
18. Go wine tasting.
19. Visit the Grand Canyon with my children.
20. Buy a horse and take my daughter horseback riding every weekend.
21. Visit a museum of art in a European country.
22. Ride a camel.
23. Swim with dolphins.
24. Watch the Dallas Cowboys play in Texas.
25. Go to California and see LA and Hollywood.
26. Buy a Coach purse and not feel guilty about it.
27. Take my kids to a drive in movie and watch two episodes.
28. Go snowmobiling in Minnesota.
29. Pick apples in a real orchard.
30. Learn to crochet and make a blanket.
31. Plant a full garden of corn, green beans, tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, potato, pumpkin and squash.
32. Watch the sea turtles come into shore lay eggs and go back to sea.
33. Sing karaoke.
34. Take a ride in a hot air balloon with my husband.
35. Go to the Kentucky Derby, dressed with my fancy clothes, big hat, big sunglasses and bet on the horses.
36. Watch a Broadway show in New York.
37. Get a palm reading from a psychic.
38. Throw a costume Halloween party for adults.
39. Take ballroom dancing classes with my husband.
40. Learn some basic sign language.
41. Run a 5k run for cancer childrens cancer awareness.
42. Volunteer at a soup kitchen for Thanksgiving.
43. Teach my daughter the craziness and fun of going Black Friday shopping all morning and get most of your shopping done in one day.
44. Teach my daughter how to clean house, in one day.
45. Bake a cake, make the icing and decorate it for one of my kid's birthdays.
46. Learn how to put on fake eyelashes, the individual kind.
47. Stop on the side of a highway where there are wild flowers, get on the ground and take photos of my kids amongst them.
48. Drive cross country with the family on a road trip like the good old times.
49. Play a game of chess with my children.
50. Go bird watching.
51. Go on vacation cruise to Mexico.
52. Make an apple pie from scratch.
53. Wear a real bikini again and rock it!
54. Take a canoeing trip down the river.
55. Go para sailing on the beach.
56. Visit a real live dude ranch, go horseback riding and eat by the campfire.
57. Get my teeth professionally whitened.
58. Get my ear pierced in the cartilage again.
59. Play a game of poker for money against my husband's buddies.
60. Read the entire Bible from cover to cover.
61. Dig out my poems and enter them in a contest.
62. Open my time capsule that I made in 1994, my senior year of high school.
63. Renew my wedding vows with my husband on one of our anniversaries.
64. Take a horseback carriage ride at Christmas time.
65. Take the kids trick or treating in a small town community where everyone knows everyone and it's like the good ol days.
66. Try eating a deep fried snicker's bar from the county fair.
67. Make candied apples.
68. Dress the whole family in matching Halloween costumes and go trick or treating.
69. Go shopping in Saks Fifth Ave.
70. Take a tandem sky dive jump.
71. Go on weekend vacation trip to a bed and breakfast with my husband.
72. Take a Disney cruise with my family for a week.
73. Go behind the scenes at Sea World and meet some of the aquatic animals.
74. Buy a boat.
75. Take my kids to see a shuttle launch before they stop doing it.
76. Take a ride in a helicopter.
77. Learn how to make homemade pasta.
78. Buy a bread maker and make my own bread.
79. Take my kids to a saltwater taffy candy store and let them watch the machine stretch the taffy and buy some for them.
80. Learn to ride a tandem bicycle.
81. Take the kids to see the fireworks from the beach.
82. Rent a beach house for a week in the summer in North Florida.
83. Take a trip to Rhode Island to visit my husband's family.
84. Go to Maine, drive to the docks and buy fresh lobster, boil it and eat it.
85. Milk a cow.
86. Roll out a bale a hay in field.
87. Churn butter like they did in the old days.
88. Learn how to ski in the snow.
89. Take an art class and learn how to paint with oil paints.
90. Trace my lineage back to the 1800's.
91. Write a message, put it in a bottle and let it go.
92. Teach my daughter how to sew with a needle and thread and using a sewing machine.
93. Walk through a field of sunflowers.
94. Go rock climbing.
95. Go to Paris, France.
96. Fly to Australia and take a trip down under.
97. Tour a submarine.
98. Take my kids to see Washington DC.
99. Take a trip to Las Vegas to see the lights, casinos and shows.
100. Open my house to a foreign exchange student for a school year.

Whew!! That was harder than I thought it would be. I really wanted to list things that weren't just everyday and when you have to start thinking about things you want to do...well let's just say I almost gave up at #52. Glad I did though. I'd like to see what I accomplish.

Writer's Workshop- Who are You

This week I've decided to link up with Mama Kat again and
write a Writer's Workshop prompt.
I chose prompt #1.
1.) Describe someone in your life who you might not know as well as you think you know.

You think you know your friends, right? Sure.
You think you know your family, right? Sure thing, you should.
Then again if your friend is your family you should really
know them, right?
Wrong!
We haven't always seen eye to eye. We've butt heads quite often
but we found something in common with each other and found
a way to get along. We became inseparable and spent
many days and nights chatting with each other.
By phone, sitting in my house, hanging out by the pool
and enjoying each others company. We
had lunch dates and became close friends.
Then some one changed.
I don't think it was me because I have been the same person.
I think that the person she wanted to be came out.
She became less and less available so I stopped trying so hard to be there.
It's what happens when you feel less wanted.
Then recently we reconnected again.
I enjoyed her company again and thought it was going well.
Then she really hurt me.
I have no idea if it was intentional or not.
Whichever it was, I took it personally because it really was an attack
on me. Words cannot be taken back once they are said.
People change when they have children.
Our views about child rearing and upbringing have come
between us. Her lack of information has caused the divide.
Without pointing a finger, she pointed a finger.
I never in a million years would have thought it would have come
down to this.
But when it comes to my kids, I will stand up to anyone.
A N Y O N E
Just when I thought I knew who she was.
Well maybe I always knew who she was
but didn't see it.

Writer's Workshop- Cool Crowd

This week at Mama Kat's Writer Workshop I am picking just one prompt.
How fitting that it is #1.
1.) The popular girls.

I'm not sure who decides who is popular and who isn't?

You go to school and when you're little everyone is friends. You don't choose who is in your class but the same kind of kids generally hang together. You make friends with kids who have the same interests as you. Then you move onto middle school in my case and it gets different. Several schools merged together and the lines get drawn without much choice. There are several popular groups in the school. You have your cheerleader type, your preppy types with money, the snobby type and the government SGA type. I however was not in any of their groups and was pretty much envious of what they had and who they hung out with.
When you're not popular you copy them. You buy the same clothes, try to act the same way and swoon over the popular boys. You hope that maybe they'll notice you and that if you date one of them that you'll get into their group. But sadly, middle school was not my chance and we moved onto high school.
High school was pretty rough my freshman year. I was trying to find myself and meet new friends and met some pretty cool people. I was friends with a twin who shares my birthday. Now for some reason, twins are always automatically popular. Don't ask me why. But every twin at my school was. So I became well known to other people by having my twin friend, but it in no way gets you the popular card.
It's disheartening though when you're not in the "cool crowd". They are the same faces you see int the yearbook pages. The same faces who get picked for Student Government. The same faces that are picked for Homecoming Court. The same people that get into Social Community Groups. By the time you reach your senior year and they play videos of photos from your four years in school, the "cool" people are the ones splattered all over the slideshow. And of course, every one "oohs and ahhs" over them.
Yes, I was jealous. I love the movie Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore because that is exactly how life is or was for me too. Now I was no Josie Grossy but I was the wallflower. The shy girl. But I was very outgoing in high school. What gives? I can gladly say now that I'm glad high school is over and my true friends from then are still in my life. I have a great life and hope to teach my children that it's not important if you're popular or not.
If I knew then what I know now about the crap that those popular people had to deal with I might have given it a second thought about wanting to be a part of their crowd. They dealt with drug issues, drinking, sex parties, rumors, back stabbing, viciousness and bad lifestyles. They might have looked perfect but they were far from it. It was all an illusion.
Some of them have gone on to do great things and are still popular and beautiful amongst themselves but good for them. I'm happy where I am. I am surrounded by people that I love. I'm glad I got there.

Writer's Workshop: Triplets

This Thursday's Writer's Workshop hosted by Mama Kat's Losin it. I have decided to write on a few of the prompts. I had a hard time choosing just one so........ I pick number's 2,4 and 5!


2.) Before I was a mom… (inspired by Loukia from Loulou’s Views)

Before I was a mom I slept in past 7 am every morning, I picked up the house once a week, I walked around the house naked, I got pedicures, I was able to go to the beach after loading up some sun tan lotion, a towel, a book and my dog. Before I was a mom dinner was quiet with the sound of just the television without the shouts of "mom!" "mom, he's touching me!" and trips into my bathroom to pee were uninterrupted. Before I was a mom I borrowed my niece or nephew to cuddle on and spoil with gifts and I was guilty of admiring the cute onesies and baby clothes in the store. Before I was a mom, I took lots of photos of the dog and now my walls are covered in photos of the kids. Before I was a mom I would never let anyone eat in my car, now I'd be in trouble if I didn't let the kids eat a cookie or sip their drinks in the back seat. Before I was a mom, life was quiet. I LOVE the noise.

4.) 30 things you vow to do this summer. (inspired by Maegan from Life Set To Words)

1. Go to the splash pad 2. Ride bikes at the bike path 3. Go to the library for reading time 4. Bake cupcakes 5. A trip to the beach 6. Learn to crochet 7. Make sun catchers 8. Drive to Kennedy Space Center 9. Visit the Science Center 10. Bake a cake 11. Go see Toy Story 3 12. Go see the Twilight Series :Eclipse 13. Make a trip to my Grandmother's house 14. Take a trip to Jacksonville Zoo 15. Take beach photographs 16. Celebrate Little E's 3rd Birthday 17. Celebrate Miss Kay's 7th Birthday 18. Visit an organic farm 19. Go to a carnival and get faces painted 20. Attend Vacation Bible School 21. Paint Miss K's bedroom 22. Plant flower gardens 23. Take Miss K to swimming lessons 24. Teach Little E to ride a bike 25. Get new carpet in the house 26. Go saltwater fishing 27. Go to the spa 28. Practice Miss K's makeup for next year's recital (learning to apply fake eyelashes) 29. Buy a new bathing suit 30. Plan my December vacation trip


5.) The ultimate honey-do list. If your spouse agreed to do any ten things you asked, what would they be?
(inspired by Tristina from Mr. and Mrs. Wright)

1. Paint the the living room, dining room, kitchen, hallways and Miss K's bedroom
2. Finish organizing the computer room
3. Clean out the shed and install shelves for lawn equipment
4. Organize the yard sale stuff
5. Vacuum my truck and shampoo the carpets
6. Give me a deep tissue massage
7. Get the kids up, dressed, fed, changed and off to school- one time
8. Throw out our weathered lawn furniture
9. Build the screen porch so we can move Ginormo Grill from the garage
10. Pressure wash the screens, soffets on the house

Writer's Workshop

Inspired by Mama Kat's Losin It, I am linking up Writer's Workshop.

For this week's writer's workshop, I chose prompt #1

1.) I sometimes laugh when I’m uncomfortable…or being yelled…or in church…or at a funeral. Write about a time when you laughed at an inappropriate time.

I have been known to laugh when some one gets hurt. I personally thought that my brain was wired wrong or something. I had heard that the empathetic emotion is in close proximity to the happiness one. I'm not sure that it was really true, I'm not a brain surgeon or some one who understands the medical side of the body. But it sounded pretty good to me and it was an excuse for cracking a smile when some one was in pain. I honestly feel terrible if you get hurt or are in pain but sometimes I can't shed a tear.
I can't recall a specific time that I laughed when some one got hurt but I have done it enough to know that I have. I have inadvertently laughed at my husband, my father, my daughter and some friends when they were in some sort of pain. Feeling embarrassed I would try to hide my smile and try to grin it out. I have twisted my smile into a sort of grimace so I didn't look such a bad person.
Honestly, I feel bad. I feel bad because I wasn't able to just cry for them or stay strong. I also feel bad because if some one is hurt, the last thing they want is some one standing there with a smile on their face. It's not a laughing matter when you're witnessing some one you love hurt. Maybe it's the safest way for me to deal with it. Again, the wiring in the brain is very tricky. I'm chalking it up to bad wiring. Heck, when I've busted my toe or like when I cut my foot open on the boat this weekend, I laughed in the pain. I was trying not to cry and I was laughing at the same time. My daughter gave me a funny look and asked me what was funny? So I even laugh at myself. You know, if you can't laugh at yourself, then no one can't.

Writer's Workshop

Inspired by Mama Kat's Losin It, I am linking up Writer's Workshop.

For this week's writer's workshop, I chose prompt #5 What's so good about it? Write an interesting poem or piece of writing where the last two words of the writing are 'good-bye' (inspired by writingfix.com)

It was a secret that she dared to share with no one. She had no idea what she was going to do. She didn't dare tell another person for fear of repercussion. She removed the thoughts from her head and continued on with life as she knew it before it happened.
Then it became harder to deal with. She was physically sweating and sick most of the time and mentally sweating through the predicament she was in. Trying to hide her sickness was the easy part but hiding herself wasn't. Time was starting to wear out.
She was mentally separating herself from what she was dealing with. She pushed the thoughts from her head when she tried to reason about it. The days continued on and her thoughts began to change when she felt the flutters.
How would she deal with this alone? She couldn't tell anyone. They would be mad. They wouldn't understand. Where would she go? What was she thinking? Was she thinking?
Trying to cover it up everyday was getting harder. Her face was starting to look swollen. Her mother questioned her about her appearance. She made up lies about it. There was nothing wrong with her. She would still not tell her secret under any circumstances.
Then on Halloween weekend she went out with her boyfriend, her brother and his wife. She didn't feel well and was in a lot of pain. The pain continued through the next day and it was unbearable. She felt like her insides were coming out. What was happening? This went on for several hours and her mother was bombarding her with questions. She finally told her mom that she was pregnant.
Without another word her mother loaded her into the car and drove her to the emergency room. It was a silent car ride except for the whimpers and moans due to the pain. She couldn't take the pain sitting in the waiting room.
The nurses led her to an exam room. She had never dealt with such pain and screamed her lungs out. They gave her no medication to ease the pain and it was unbearable compared to what she went through hours before. The nurses called out for a cart and neo natal tray. The baby was coming and it was a blur. An hour after entering the exam room she delivered a 1lb baby boy. He was lifeless and her mother decided it was best that she not see him. He was about 6 months gestational according to his size and he had been lifeless for several days.
After the birth was over a preacher visited her room. She kept her eyes closed and faked being asleep from the pain. She heard her mother say to the preacher " it was a blessing in disguise". She was right about not telling anyone. They would have never understood.
She left the hospital alone in her mind. She left the hospital empty. She left her son there without seeing his face or body. She said
"good bye".

My Novel: Writer's Workshop

Inspired by Mama Kat's Losin It, I am linking up Writer's Workshop.

For this week's writer's workshop, I chose prompt #4:
What 'chapters of your life' would there be? Make a list of your life's chapters. Choose one. Write five possible opening sentences to that chapter. Then write five possible ending sentences to that chapter.

Chapter 1- The Adolescent Years (Ages 5-11)
Chapter 2- Middle School- Ms Popularity?
Chapter 3- Freshman Fallout
Chapter 4- I Can See Clearly Now..
Chapter 5- Senior Moments
Chapter 6- College Crash Course
Chapter 7- Changing Lanes
Chapter 8- Break Up
Chapter 9- Working 9-5
Chapter 10- Wedding Bells are Ringing
Chapter 11- Baby Makes Three
Chapter 12- Grass is Greener on the Other Side
Chapter 13- It's a Boy!
Chapter 14- Where Do we Go Now?

Chapter 4-
Possible Opening Sentences
1. Moving right along in the fast lane of high school drama.

2. Who needs friends anyways.

3. I should have known better and kept my mouth shut about my personal life.

4. If only my parent's had sent me to live with my grandparents.

5. In only two years time, I grew up pretty quickly.

Possible Ending Sentences
1. I can't believe this will be my last year of school.

2. I have enjoyed the best summer of my life.

3. If only I had become more involved in my school extra- curricular activities sooner.

4. I am glad I said goodbye to Yearbook Staff, that would have ruined my summer vacation.

5. Class of 1994 here I come!