I Got This

So I'm going to attempt to get my feet wet. Again. When I tried this blogging thing, what was that, like five years ago? I had no idea I would get so sucked in. That's a bad way of looking at it. It's not like it's a drug and you want more. It doesn't happen overnight. Little by little I found myself writing more, getting people to read my writing and then before I knew it, I was posting more than once a day. I was dreaming about my next pst, writing snippets on pieces of paper. Voice recording blog posts on my phone. Then, my life with children demanded my time. I quit working full time...

Blogging was hard. Where was the time? You think that being home you'll have ALL this time to write. Sure, the ideas were there, but where was the damn time.? It was non existent. I couldn't stand sitting in front of my laptop writing a post and telling my kids to hold on, mommy was busy. 

I'm going to slip back into my comfort zone and do one of the things I enjoy. One thing that lets me decompress. One place I can let the words spill out and if you judge me, oh well. If you like what I have to say, awesome! One thing for sure, it won't involve me having to discipline you, tell you to stop doing that or require me to feed you some meal or a snack. 

I'm going to start writing about my newest little man. The little pumpkin that changed my world. Fill in the blanks along the way. It's not a fresh start, just going to try and pick up the pieces where I left them. I'm not even sure where that was. I guess I might even have to go back and look. I forgot too. 

But one thing is for sure, I got this!  Like it says..

PYHO: Always Obstacles

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a letter from the County School Board two weeks ago granting Little E's variance for the 2012-2013 school year. I wrote about my concerns back in May whether or not he would get to attend Miss K's school. I was stressing about the long wait I may have been facing and if he didn't get it.

I thought all my worries were over now that I had this piece of paper in my hand. I was wrong again.

I went by the school this Monday to drop off the letter for the school registrar and talked to my friend in the front office. She is like the school secretary/ school website web master. I asked her about the teacher list for the upcoming year so I could confirm which teachers I would request for Miss K and Little E. She told me she had just posted it online just a few minutes before I walked in.

Which meant if the new list was up, the teacher request form would be up also. Nope. My hopes were deflated. There's always an obstacle in my way, it seems.

She told me that the principal has decided to do away with teacher request forms due to new salary regulations on teachers being based on student performance. She is hoping to have the classes more balanced without having all the high scoring kids in the top two favorite teachers rooms.

The plus side, is that she is accepting letters of your child's needs and will take that into consideration when choosing the class for your child. She will not accept letters with a teacher request in them.

I am more worried about Miss K than Little E because it's only Kindergarten. The school handles this grade with "kid gloves" and I'm sure he will do just fine with minor adjustments from his new teacher. He aims to please.

I didn't know that I had a choice when his sister entered school and we got what teacher the school chose.  Which was an awesome teacher and one of the top picked Kindergarten teachers in the school.

Having dealt with several years of inability to focus, short attention span and limited short term memory with Miss K, she really needs a compassionate teacher. Some one who can understand that she has ADHD and won't treat is as a label. A teacher who can have open communication with me and be able to recognize when she is "slipping" and needs positive encouragement with a firm tone.

Miss K is a loveable child who has three previous teachers (not counting 1st grade-she was not a great teacher) who absolutely love and adore her. Especially last year's teacher who was the most help in accomplishing many goals we had set out for the school year.

I'm hoping that I can get this across to the principal that is is very important for Miss K academically, to be placed with a teacher like we hope for.

I'm praying this all works out for the good. I know that my prayers may be answered differently than I expect and I am prepared for that. I'm willing to deal with that but hoping for an "easy button" this time.

New Family Member

Sunday afternoon after coming home from church and having lunch, I laid down on my bed to rest and browse some social media. I got on my Facebook and a friend of mine posted for a friend of hers who was trying to find homes for some kittens. Of course, the animal lover in me had to look. This was the first photo I saw.


 A D O R A B L E!!! Now if you know anything about cats, I was amazed to see five, yes FIVE calico/ tortoise shell kittens in one litter!

I showed them to my husband. He shocked me by saying that we should get one. Since my daughter has been still missing her beloved cat Teeko. He said this would make her very happy.

We called the girl who had them, and I was shocked to find out that she still had all five. She didn't live close by, an hours drive away. In the rain from that Tropical Storm Debby.

So much for my nap.

We piled the kids in the van and headed out on an adventure. We did not tell the kids where we were going. It was pretty funny because Little E kept thinking we were going "somewhere". For him that meant to do something.

After getting to her house and meeting the kittens, it was a tough choice. We originally had chosen one that had half orange, half black face. But we wanted Miss K to choose the kitten. Or shall I say, let the kitten choose her.

Which is how it was for she and Teeko.

After at least 30 minutes or longer of playing with five kitties, we took home Mollie, formerly known as Viper. The kitten with the orange stripe down her nose. (far left in photo above)

It has taken some adjusting for her, she has cried every night in her "room".

Little E wanted a kitty of his own, and I have been feeling pretty badly. I'm a softie to animals and my son. There was one kitten that was attached to ours and has been lonely since we left.

We'll see..

Not like I need another mouth to feed. I have a human one coming in November. What is a girl to do??!

PYHO: Little E

Bittersweet moments in my life.

Last week, my Little E graduated from preschool. He is only a few months away from entering into his formulative years in school.

In thirty nine days he will turn 5. A milestone birthday. At least in this house we consider it one.

I sat back today and reminisced over the day last August we walked into the preschool where he was going to attend and remembered the excitement in his eyes. We chose a Montessori based school, based on high recommendations from a friend.

Little E couldn't wait to pull out a play-mat and join in.

Convincing him that he would be back in just a few weeks was something he just didn't comprehend. Now thinking about it, it seems like it was just yesterday. It brings tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat when I realize that almost another year has gone by.

How much longer will my little boy run to my arms for comfort from mommy hugs? School changes a child. They become more independent. The comfort of mom is saved for home, where friends cannot see.

I am mentally preparing myself for another year that I hope will not fly by. I hope that the birth of baby #3 does not overshadow the accomplishments that my second born will do.

My soon to be middle child. How will this change and mold his personality? My sweet "double" kisses boy. So many changes ahead for this little guy. A year of many firsts ahead. Am I ready?

PYHO: Neighbors

There once was a time that I enjoyed living on the dirt road near the rail road tracks. It was quiet, stress free and peaceful. A time before the housing market hit an all time low and people starting vacating their houses. Vacant houses replaced by a class of people that I really don't particularly enjoy living in the same neighborhood with, thanks to the crashing market. I'm stuck in my house for at least a few more years. Until all the houses left by those who "just walked away" are sold off by the banks.

For the time being, I'm stuck. It could be worse. I could be living next door to a drug dealer or a pedophile. But it's bad enough when your neighbor beats his wife and she comes banging on your door to help her. I really didn't appreciate that evening. I didn't need to get involved in their problems.

More recently they decided they "needed" a puppy. I guess after having kittens and then they "mysteriously" disappeared after a month or so, required them to get something larger. It would have helped if they actually kept the kittens inside their house until they were old enough to roam free. We live in the woods. With owls, foxes, bears and other critters that might decide your kitten is lunch or dinner. Sadly, this is the truth.

I only knew of the new puppy coming, through my kids who occasionally ride bikes with their daughter. 

The puppy showed up about two months ago. Every one loves a puppy. They're cute, cuddly and fun to play with. Until they become a nuisance and start eating your shoes, peeing and pooing on the carpet and scratching the kids when they jump on them. I'm assuming those are the reasons. I'm not boasting here, but no dog or puppy of mine, gets away with that behavior. Potty accidents do happen, but the rest is preventable if you train your dog.

So guess what happens when you don't train your dog, because you really didn't need it anyways. He finds himself outside. But not in a pen or a fenced yard. He is now running loose around his yard, your yard, the road, the woods, the neighbors yard and wherever else his little puppy mind takes him.

I let the fact that he's been a pain until he broke some plant pots on my porch and made a mess with the mulch and other items on my porch. My husband spoke to the wife about it. It started nicely. Until she called me a liar and said that her dog has never been outside unattended. That he is crated all day. She is obviously stupid because I'm not the only one who has seen her dog outside.

A few days went by without seeing him unattended outside. But it only took a few days.

Last week,  I went to leave the house and one of my husband's shoes was missing from our front porch. There was a mess on the porch, again. As the kids and I were heading down the road I saw the shoe. It was on the neighbor's front porch! And the puppy was wandering around in her yard. I had Miss K get the shoe and we headed to school. This was at 7:30am.

When I got back home at 9:00am the puppy was still outside and her car was home. So she was home, but had no intentions of dealing with her responsibility. I called Animal Control and waited for them to show up. Of course, since this dog wasn't the one who killed my cat (another story, which has pushed me to be pro active about dog owner responsibilities) they didn't rush out to deal with this issue. I left my house at 11:30 am and they never came. I wasn't sure if they came out and spoke with her later in the day, but by Sunday evening, I knew they had not.

The puppy, who is a doberman pincer that is about 4-5 months old, was out again. I watched through my front blinds this dog run in and out of my other neighbor's sprinkler's. I thought to myself hahaha, your dog is getting all filthy and when you call him in and he makes a mess on your carpet, I'd love to be a fly on the wall to see your reaction.

A little while later, I went outside to help my husband finish up the lawn chores, since the tropical storm bands were coming. By then, the puppy had decided to aggravate my husband by running alongside our mower and wouldn't go away. My husband had already gone over to the neighbor's house to see if they were home, so they could put their dog away. Of course not!

So I waited until Tuesday morning to call Animal Control again to report the dog running loose and question they never followed up on my call from Friday. The lady who I spoke with, didn't have a clear answer to why my complaint was not addressed, but she updated the information about the recent events and would send out an officer.

When I got home Tuesday evening, I saw my porch was wrecked again, telling me the puppy was out wandering again. I figured that the AC had not come out again.

 But to my surprise, I had two messages on my answering machine from the AC Officer. The first one was from the officer telling me why no one was out on Friday and that she was the officer who handled our part of the county. Second message was informing me that she came out to the residence for the doberman puppy and found that he was running loose and no one was home. Since the owner's of the dog were breaking the law, she issued them a citation and left it on their door. Woohoo!!

That worked out better than them coming on Friday! They caught her "red handed", so to speak. Later on Tuesday night, I heard the puppy barking his crazy head off. Wondering why he was barking incessantly,  I looked outside. The neighbors decided to tether him out back instead of walking him on a leash for potty breaks. I'm waiting to see how long that lasts. Especially since the line they have him on is about the the size of a clothes line, which in due time will not restrain a full sized doberman.

Idiot neighbors. Hopefully they don't think they'll leave him outside for hours tied up to that line without shelter or water. It's hitting the 90 degree mark here and that's not in direct heat. Like I said, they don't need a dog.



http://youtu.be/wF0bSddMIgg
Video of the Culprit

WW: Summer 10

List your top 10 favorite things about summer growing up

10. Bicycle rides through the neighborhood. Heading to each of my friends' houses to see who was home and could ride with me.

9. Swimming at the local park with my brothers. We would spend hours swimming in that murky water ( that they now have signs recommending not swimming because of amoeba) then head to the playground and see who could swing the highest. 

8. When my aunt would come to visit every year in June. She would come bearing small gifts for each of us and we would spend most of the week taking mini trips to the local stores. 

7. Heading to grandma and grandpa's house when my aunt would go back home. We would ride the Greyhound bus with her. Stopping at the bus stations was one of my favorite parts. She would always buy us a candy bar. 

6. The beach trips. They were few and far between so you made the most of the times you were there. Spending hours in the ocean water chasing the waves. 

5. Chatting on the phone for hours and hours with my best friends. Since my parents worked they rarely took me to their houses so I kept in touch with the ones who didn't live within bike riding distance. 

4. Swimming in the pool. Growing up, we had an above ground pool at my parents house. When we weren't doing chores we spent hours playing marco-polo, wave pool and water volleyball.

3. Before middle school, my younger brother and I were too little to stay at home when my mom worked, so we had to go with mom to work at my parents business.My dad had a pair of doberman dogs that were "supposed" to be guard dogs, but they were more of big playmates to me. My brother and I would spend hours playing with those dogs. 

2. Going roller skating and to the movies with my friends. I used to be a great roller skater. I used to be able to roll backwards and in a circle holing holds with my friend. 

1. Sleepovers! I loved going to sleep overs at my friends houses.It was a chance to get away from being at home doing chores and getting picked on by my brothers. Escape! 

This Thursday post was written for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop, I chose prompt # 5.

PYHO: Opinions are like.....

We didn't tell anyone we were trying. Well, except for one couple. They knew. But no one else knew.
It's not something you share with everyone.

After we found out that we were indeed pregnant with baby #3, we were really excited. Knowing the risks of telling people and something happening, we decided to keep the news to ourselves and a few close friends.

Telling family was not an option yet,just in case. Family takes things harder and friends hold you up when things fall. We waited until the first appointment when the baby should have been 8 weeks along. The ultrasound confirmed that we were having "a baby" ( I say that because hubs has been fearing twins) but we were 6 weeks and five days along.

This was a bummer. We were hoping to tell more people but since we were not as far along, we had to wait longer. The waiting is very hard.

The longer I waited, the more nervous I got about telling certain people. I know it shouldn't matter, because the choice of how many children I want is MY CHOICE. And my husband's of course. I didn't know how the news would be received.

A year ago, when in conversation with a friend of mine who has more children than I do and was expressing her interest in having more, my mother in law stated (looking at me) " you don't need anymore kids." Did I hear her right? Was she telling me what was right for me?

So I wasn't looking forward to telling her and I think my husband knew it. So she was the last parent we told about the new baby coming. She really shocked me. My husband had to hold the phone back a foot or so from his ear. She was so excited and squealing about another grand child. Wow.

I am the first person that will tell you, I don't care what other people think. I really try not to let other people's opinions get to me. Most of all, strangers opinions. But deep inside, it stirs me up when people express their opinions to me.

Right now, I'm not showing so no one would know that I'm pregnant anyways. So I'm safe from other peoples problems. Unless of course, my son who is a proud BIG Brother to be might tell you that there is a baby in there.

I really don't want to hear the obtuse or intrusive opinions from other people. I'm dealing with questions now. Since you already have one of each, which sex do you prefer?

I don't care! Really! I want a healthy child. I'm the mother to a daughter and a son, I know what both worlds could bring. There are pros and cons to raising each gender. And I could honestly end up with a sassy, prissy little princess girl. Unlike Miss K completely. Or I could get an ultra sensitive boy, who wears his emotions on his sleeve. Unlike my rough and tough Little E.

I'm not worried about trivial things like that. The worst part that since I have one of each, people assume that you are done having children. As if that is a guideline. Really?

Top Ten Reasons I Won't Be Going on a Trip

Now that my husband has arrived home safely from his trip to Haiti I can say there is now way I would be traveling to that country, or any other country and leave him home with the kids. Not until they are at least independent children who no longer need some one to be constantly watching them I might give him a few days with them, but not a week.

My TOP TEN Reasons why I will NOT leave the husband in charge

(even though I love him and he means well)

10. The kids rooms will be complete disasters. Or as I say "BOMBS". The kids know this word well and will come warn me that is looks like a bomb. 

9. Bath time will be questionable after swimming in a pool. Even if Miss K's hair is completely loaded with chlorine and looks like it too.

8. Our dogs will get fed when the kids remember it. The cats might as well pack their bags and head to the neighbors house for a week.

7. Our newspaper delivery will go unnoticed, only the delivery guy will realize something is up when the lawn is covered in them. ( I get 3 subscriptions)

6. Laundry might be washed and certainly not sorted.He might even join the ranks with me and accidentally wash magenta sheets with other colors and not immediately remove them from the wash.- it happens!

5. The kids will become regulars at McDonald's and the staff will know them by name.

4.Being the "mom taxi" would pose a definite issue for him. One reason I only work part time to work around the schedules of the kids. 

3. I might as well take stock in paper plates, disposable utensils and buy throw away everything. Think like we're camping. Because the dishes may never make it out of the sink. (He said that his room mate in Haiti was messy and it drove him crazy. So my OCD has rubbed off, but now that he is back home, he no longer needs to be clean. He assumes and knows I'll just do it. Would he MAN UP and do it while I was away?)

 

2. Homework! It's been known that daddy does not have the patience for Miss K when it comes to homework. Especially when it comes to math. -not his best subject.

1. Housework. It's not going to happen. I run a tight ship and I know that the house will still be there when I get home, but in what condition? After the bombs and the dogs, I might as well hire a cleaning lady as soon as I stepped off the plane. Or he might as well. After greeting the kids and the hubs, I would be inspecting it. Sadly, leaving a list won't cut it.

The only way I'm leaving the house, is if I hired a nanny for the week, along with a house keeper.

Day 3: It just gets better

Day 3 while my husband is in Haiti

I'm really not used to regular routine when my husband is away. Without a reason to roll over and smack some one lying next to you to "get up, you're alarm is going off", I have no desire to get up when my own alarm is blaring. Thankfully it was Monday and I was not required to be showered, dressed and ready to go when the kids were. No work for me.

I spent most of my morning glued to my cell phone while my sister in law talked for 2.5 hours. I was so tired from not getting enough sleep, I actually fell asleep on her. Seriously. That was pretty embarrassing. I kept thinking about a nap, how much a nap would be so nice. Just 30 minutes before leaving the house again to pick up Little E from preschool. It never happened.

Just the five minutes I zoned out.

While I was busy keeping myself awake, my husband was busy teaching the children in the small town in Haiti about stories in the Bible.

The rest of the day went as usual. Pickup Little E from school, come home eat lunch. Nothing spectacular about that. Then go back and get Miss K from school and come home for an hour before heading out the door again for dance classes. Ah, Mondays. You are quite busy even when I'm home doing chores.

I can't believe that I'm saying this, but on a weekday, I can't function most of the day when my husband is out of town. But the evenings are harder. Tag teaming takes on a new meaning when there is only one parent in the house. The kids tag team me! 

Not to mention that Little E decided to throw a wrench in the evening by taking a 2 hour nap between the hours of 6-8 and I could not wake him up. I tried everything, except dumping cold water on him. So of course after his siesta he wakes up at 8:15pm and wants to stay awake. Which was not in my plan at all. Needless to say, I went to bed at 11pm and left him awake in Miss K's bed. And that was all she wrote.

Day 2: You Comfort Me

Day 2 While my husband is in Haiti

My children and I missed Sunday church services. Something I'm not proud of, but given the circumstances we all needed some rest. We slept in until 8am which didn't leave us much time to get ready for 9am church. I really needed to mentally prepare myself for what we had on the agenda for the day. I was meeting my parents at the Funeral Home to make arrangements for my Grandmother. Followed by going to the nursing home to retrieve her belongings. I really was hoping to avoid that place. I am very bitter towards them. An emotion that I should be able to push aside but haven't found the strength to do so. Or maybe I don't want to right now.

Setting up the funeral arrangements went smoothly. I think it helped that the staff knew us already, not that they were hoping to meet us just yet. We were supposed to be coming in a few weeks to make pre arrangements. The nursing home trip was exactly as I had feared. The staff had already boxed up my grandma's belongings and stored them away. The bed was neatly made and all ready for another person. It made me more mad at them. My mother was furious to say the least.

I couldn't wait to get out of there. I have bad memories as a child in nursing homes visiting great grandparents. I tried to push past those feelings when we placed my grandma in one. I wanted her to be happy. Sadly, I have new sad memories now. I hope that I never have to do this again.

My parents had invited the kids and I to join them for dinner at their house. So after the drama of the morning, I was looking forward to some relaxing conversation. The kids were looking forward to riding their bikes on "regular" road, not the dirt roads like at home. The weather had cleared up and was beautiful. It was brightening my mood.

The best part. My husband called me!! Thank you Skype!! I never knew they had an option that allowed you to load the program and make a phone call. It was so good to hear his voice. The first time he tried to Facetime call me but I was not near WIFI and it wouldn't connect. So he figured out another way.

You have no idea how much hearing some one's voice can calm your heart. Even if he is miles and miles away, he finds a way to comfort me. Even with his voice. I thought that I wouldn't be able to survive these days without him. I was wrong.

I'm hoping the rest of the week flies by and Friday comes quick. At least regular routine resumes on Monday.

Day 1: I'm Lost Without You

Day 1 while my husband is away in Haiti. 

Sadly on Friday evening, the last night we had together before he needed to meet the mission team at the church, I got a phone that I never expected. My grandmother had died. I was in complete and utter shock after my Aunt had just passed the day after Easter. It has only been a week since we buried her. A turn of events happened and my mother called me back and said that grandma was alive. The staff at the nursing home called 911 and performed CPR and they had a pulse. She was en route to the ER. This all felt too surreal. Had we not just done this?? Why now when my husband is leaving for a week? 

So Friday evening when we would have been spending our last hours together, we spent it in the hospital watching my grandmother slip from us. She wasn't really there anymore. As much as I know about the body and spirit, I believe she wasn't there. Her body was still working for the moment, but her mind was gone. She was ready to join our Father in heaven. She was ready to join her daughter and husband among her other family members who had long since passed.

By the time my husband and I got home there was only and hour left to rest before he would need to shower and prepare to leave. Talk about a cat nap that was hard to come by while my thoughts were on my grandmother.

My husband and I exchanged kisses and I love you's at 3am and we parted ways. I really felt all alone at that moment I pulled from the church parking lot. I went home and struggled to go to sleep. My mind was elsewhere for many reasons. Losing my grandmother so quickly now after my aunt, missing my husband, worrying over the looming week ahead-alone.

At 3:45 am the phone rang. The house phone. My father called me with the news I was expecting but hoping would not come. Grandma was in heaven now. She was gone. She was the only grandma I knew, since my mother's mom passed away when I was very little. I knew this day would come, but I wasn't ready. Are we ever ready?

I tossed and turned and finally was able to get a little rest. At 6:51am my husband texted me and let me know that he was boarding his first of two flights to Haiti. I never went back to sleep. The kids would be up soon and I was the only one home to take care of them.

Today has been a long day to say the least. Many emotions have gone through me. I will not let myself become depressed. I was close today. I sat in my pj's until 3pm. I forced myself to eat lunch. I am keeping the routines at home for my children's sake. Normalcy. It keeps me going for now. I'm tired and hoping I will get some rest tonight. 

Thankfully my husband texted me tonight and let me know all was well. He is at the hotel in Haiti and he had a long trip there. He hopes to Facetime or Skype me tomorrow. I really hope he does.

Friday Fragments #194

I've been MIA for too long. I have half attempted all week to write a post but just haven't done it. I hate being a slacker.

Today, in less than twenty four hours, I will be sending off my husband with our church team to Haiti. I'm nervous and struggling with many emotions with this. I am asking God for strength, perseverance,  patience and faith to make it through the next six days. I will really begin to appreciate the same things my husband does around here.

It's hard to believe that next month, I will be signing Little E up for Kindergarten for this fall. The thought came to me this morning when I remembered I needed to go to Miss K's school to pick up a variance form that is pre authorized by her school and bring it to the school we are zoned for.

Miss K survived FCAT's this week. The poor little girl was so stressed out by it that she was having a hard time staying focused in class last week and the beginning of this week, once the test was over. She has been extremely emotional and I have been trying my best to handle her with "kid gloves". I will admit, it has been VERY hard to stay composed after the many weeping episodes this week. So glad it's Friday and they are having a fun day today at school.

A woman I go to church with, who is also in my small group after church mailed my family a card following the death of my Aunt. It brought joy and tears to me. I want to share part of the poem on it,

And think of her as living

in the hearts of those she touched

for nothing loved is ever lost-

and she was loved so much.

It's little loving gestures like a simple card that can speak volumes. 

I can't wait to feel "normal" again. Thanks to Little E I have been battling a head cold since Sunday. I am sooo tired of blowing my nose. I have also realized that there is a DEFINITE difference in tissue brand and style. Let me say, not any tissue is good. Maybe for the occasional blowing of the nose, but not repeated blowing of the nose. Neosporin is my nose's new BF. 

 

PYHO: Home in Heaven

Where do I begin? These past eleven days have been a blur. Sunday April 1st was any regular day for my family. We attended church that Sunday followed by our afternoon group gathering for church. It was even a little more fun since we went out to dinner after wards at our local BBQ restuarant. Then it all changed when I got the phone call from my mom.

My aunt, who was recently moved to a rehab facility here where I live from Tampa, was going into the hospital. Several months back she had gone into the hospital for swelling in her legs. It was discovered that she had sorosis of the liver and she was not an alcohol drinker. We believe that some years back another doctor told her that she had this, but due to her limited mental capabilities, she did not realize the severity of her condition.

 The rehab facility called my mother and told her that my aunt was having trouble breathing. And it must have gotten bad enough for them to call an ambulance. En route to the hospital from the facility, which is merely two minutes away, something happened. The hospital staff said, "crashed". She "crashed". Whatever that means for them, it meant she lost consciousness, stopped breathing and was intibated.

The next morning my husband and I went to see her in the ICU. She was not conscious, she was heavily sedated and on a ventilator machine. It was a surreal moment. The tears welled up in my eyes and I went to her bedside. I rubbed her arm and spoke to her, calling her name. I was shocked that she turned her head towards me and fluttered her eyes. My husband said her heart rate jumped up ten numbers and it worried him. He said "I don't think we should be trying to wake her".

He went to the nurses station and asked the nurse that was caring for my aunt, about trying to communicate with her. Apparently they didn't want us to do that. They wanted her heart to stay calm while she was fighting so many infections in her body. She currently had pneumonia, one lung was completely full of fluid and her liver failing had caused the ammonia in her body to rise to dangerous levels. Adding these complications to her already failing body put her in danger.

Sadly, this Monday, April 9th my aunt passed away and joined the Lord. Her heart withstood as much as it could for nine days but couldn't hold on any longer. She is now free from pain. I am happy for her. She is now a smart person in heaven. God has released her from her limited mental capabilities. He has made her well again.

Humanly, I am still sad for her. And tomorrow we will attend the first of two funerals for her. One here,  and one back in Tampa. I have not cried this week for her. Not that my heart doesn't ache to have her fleshly body here on Earth with us, but I know that she is in a better place now. That she doesn't have to depend on breathing machines, western medicines, wheel chairs and many other medical devices to lengthen her life here.

It has been a rough time for me and my family. I'm glad that she we recently celebrated her mother's birthday all together. The whole family. My brothers, their spouses and children and my parents. She was surrounded by us all before the sickness took her home.

You never know when the last day will be with your loved ones. 

Please forgive me if I do not respond to your comments right away this weekend.

PYHO: Disappointed and Dirty

I am disappointed with my self lately. My inability to complete my regular house work chores is leaving me frustrated. For the past few weeks I have been just "getting by" with my regular chores around the house. I make it through most of the laundry. I sort it. Wash it. Dry it. Fold it. And then it sits clean in a basket for days. Then when some one, usually my husband, runs out of something to wear, I start all over again. I have no choice but to finally put away the clean clothes that have been sitting around for days.

The laundry is only the tip of the iceberg. The lack of motivation is spilling over into other areas as well. My dusting in the house. The filing of papers. My coupon cutting. I am becoming so overwhelmed with the unfinished work that I don't know where to start. This behavior is so unlike me that it is really aggravating me.

I feel like a failure. In my own mind I'm failing at something. I'm not sure what anyone else thinks, because the only ones witnessing this are the kids and my husband. My husband is not a neat freak, so it's not going to bother him. Miss K follows in her dad's footsteps so she is not fazed by it. And Little E, he's not really old enough to realize how OCD I am.

The bigger issue I have with not finishing the regular day to day chores is, that I can't even justify starting on other chores that have manifested through out this. The season have changed, both kids have outgrown some clothes and I need to get the excess stuff out of their rooms. It's piling up. My garage looks like the beginnings of Hoarders. Seriously. It's scary.

The pressure of all this is taking a toll on my personality and I lashed out at my husband about it. So many of our weekends have been compromised by other events that I have no spare time to catch up. Some have been for pleasure. Thanks to Spring Break. Some have been due to family emergencies. Which you can't blame.

I need more time!

I need another me!

 I need to let go and stop beating myself up.
 How do you tell a perfectionist, obsessive compulsive, clean freak that it's ok that the dogs haven't been bathed and seriously need it, the dust behind the tv's will be ok for another week and that no body cares that you have three weeks of three Sunday newspapers sitting on your front porch. At least I live on a dirt road. 

And if you only knew the rest.

Phone Panic

How safe are you about your personal information on your phone? I never let my phone out of my sight, unless one of the kids are playing a game on it or listening to music. Other than that, it's in my pocket or my purse. But accidents happen. You're busy with the kids, you can get easily distracted. Or maybe the pocket in the pants you're wearing are shallow and you're in the mall trying on new clothes. It accidentally slips out of your pants pocket and you don't realize that it's gone until you need it. You feel naked.

Your heart drops into your stomach and you have that empty pit feeling. Where is my phone?! Oh my gosh. I can't even call anyone to help me find it. You're not even thinking about the ramifications of losing it. Your first thought might be that you're going to have to replace it. You think about all the photos you took on it and that they're gone. GONE!

The bad part of it all hasn't hit you ...yet. Is your phone secure? Is it protected?

I really never put much thought into it until I heard on the Today Show about a study that Symantec Corp recently performed and released the results of their study. They fake lost 50 Smart Phones in five major cities in the US and Canada with tracking devices on them and to up the ante they loaded the phones with software that would entice some one to snoop, like "Passwords or HR Files". The news is not shocking, but an eye opener for me and maybe many others.

The worst part, even if your phone gets returned to you, more than likely the person who found it has already attempted to access your personal banking information, looked at your emails and photos. That's pretty creepy to me. "Some 43 percent of finders clicked on an app labeled "online banking." And 53 percent clicked on a filed named "HR salaries." A file named "saved passwords" was opened by 57 percent of finders. Social networking tools and personal e-mail were checked by 60 percent. And a folder labeled "private photos" tempted 72 percent. Collectively, 89 percent of finders clicked on something they probably shouldn't have."- Symantec Corp.

I decided this morning that locking my phone was going to be the best option to keep out anyone from accessing my personal info. I don't care if it keeps me from getting my phone back. A lost phone can be replaced, but if some one gets into your finances, or even worse steals your identity. The process of rectifying that problem can take months if not years.

So there will be an obvious inconvenience when the kids want to use my phone. But it's all good. Some sacrifices have to be made when protecting your private information. You never know if it could happen to you.

Symantec Corp did not contact me to do this post for them. This post is my own and original content and my opinions are all my own.

A Gift from the Heart

Yesterday I decided that I was going to make a new bow for Miss K. I haven't made my own in quite some time because I just couldn't get them the way I wanted. I'm such a perfectionist so if it wasn't "perfect" I wasn't satisfied. I had retired my box of bow making equipment and have been buying bows from the store, my friend and most recently from a vendor at a community business event. I got this wild idea that I would google how to make bows and then follow along.

I will siggest that you watch the video in it's entirety before starting your bow. I followed along while the video was going and did not like bow #1. I tried to use the same bow in the next video I watched, but her bow had a twist in the fabric. So I attempted to salvage the bow and hated it.

I found an awesome tutorial on bows and was more than satisfied with the finished project on the video. I was really excited that the lady suggested using "scraps" of ribbon in various colors. Was she reading my mind?!

I took the "quiet time" I had while the kids were playing down the road to start my bows. My "time" didn't last long enough to get it done uninterrupted. I'm surprised I got it finished with Little E sitting next to me munching on S'mores Goldfish and Miss K sitting behind me trying to work on her homework. With her occasionally stopping me to ask a question about her math. Then Little E starting digging through my scraps of ribbon and snooping through my container of new ribbon.

He decided he wanted to make a bow for his friend Sydney at preschool. She is all he talks about most days. She is the tiniest 4 year old in the preschool and she is so stinking cute. He said she likes bows and he wanted to make her one. So I had to make Miss K's bow and try to help him with his gift bow. And I was running out of time. By the time he decided to do his project, we had 15 minutes before departure for dance classes.

Talk about stress. But it was ALL WORTH IT.

We finished both bows except for a clip on Sydney's. Which I had to pull out my glue gun for this morning. He wanted her to be able to put it on after he gave it to her.

Little E packed her bow safely into his backpack and raced into class, not even stopping for my goodbye kiss. He was so proud. And the sweetest part, her boy cousin (that goes to preschool there too) put it in her hair. It was not the cutest bow, it was mismatched and had ribbon tied over a bow and was not perfection at all. But it was special.

It WAS ALL WORTH IT. He was so happy that she liked it. I was somewhat broken hearted, my little boy has some one else in his heart. Even if he is only four and half.

PYHO: One Click Away

Last week I posted about my time management or lack there of. I came in today to read emails, reply to comments and realized that I had not written another post since that one. Boy, that is disheartening.I obviously did not motivate myself enough to write anything. It's not the motivation, really. I have that. It's finding the time, the peace and quiet of the day to write down what's on my mind. When I get an idea to write about something, I've been typing snippets of it on my "notes" on my iPhone. Good idea, right?

Not really. I never seem to get back to them. Then when I do, it's been a few weeks and the idea seems dead. Who wants to read about a silly story that happened three weeks ago? Maybe some one.

I'm not going to let this get the better of me and my writing. For now, my life behind the keyboard has been very full and I know that if I stepped away from the real life, what's going on, that I'll miss it. Then I'll have nothing to write about. 

Miss K went to her very first dance competition this weekend. We left the boys at home. It was mother/ daughter time. And thanks to the lovely hotel we stayed at, the use of my lap top never happened. They want to charge $9.95 a day for internet use. We were there three days!! I was hoping to write about the weekend. Post pictures of my sweet girl taking classes, dancing on stage. But it has had to wait.

Last week Little E was sick, a sore throat that started on Thursday that lo and behold became strep throat on Monday. I have no idea how my husband checks the kids while I am away, but I know he is not like myself. I ask how the kids are feeling in the morning. 

So a trip to the pediatrician, a throat culture and we determined he has strep. Four dollar antibiotics and two days home for me with the little guy. And amazingly I never noticed that he was a little run down. Because by yesterday afternoon, he was full of himself.

I'm glad to be back at work today. It's quiet here today. Which is how I am writing this post. Stealing time here.

So you see, I have stuff to write, but not enough time to click it out. The stuff of my life, which my life is consuming.  Does that make sense? I am not complaining. Just venting. I take conferences for scrap booking to have time to do that. I need to take a getaway weekend to write. Authors do that, right? I'm not an author, but heck.

I'm glad I have this outlet when I get the time to use it. My friends on the other end of this, the ones who comment, encourage and read my "stuff",a BIG thank you. A million thank yous. For without you, I might not write as often. 

I know that is not what this is about but today. thank you!!! 

PYHO: Time Management

 
Time management has always been an issue of mine that I just can't seem to conquer. Being a mom to an eight year old child with ADHD, that is involved with extra curricular activities, plus an intelligent, full of energy four year old, those responsibilities take up a lot of my time. 
Then you add in working outside the home 15 hours a week split between three days, all the chores that come with owning a home that have pets living in it and dedicating my family and myself to our church. 

And I can't forget spending quality time with my husband after the regular day to day chores are done, when I'm finally sitting down taking a breath of air. 

Where is the ME time? Now, I do have free time in my day and when that time is, varies from day to day. Sometimes that time still gets used for some other unexpected trip to the store, the bank, or a catastrophic mess (we've had a few of those lately) and when the day is over after those "extras", I am exhausted. Leaving my extra time in the evening, to pass out asleep.


The time that I try to set aside for myself is split between three important things to me. Blogging. Reading emails and other blogs. Reading my devotions and Bible. I have several other things I would love to do, but they get put by the wayside more often than not. 


I love to write when I have the time. Okay, we've covered that my time is very limited. I used to sacrifice sleeping time and would stay up at least an hour longer to write my posts. But that caught up with me after too many weeks of doing that. Then I dipped into my time that was spent on reading my devotions and wrote posts during that time. 


Feeling guilty about not reading my devotions caught up with me and I had to find time some where else to write my posts. Really? How does anyone else do this? How do other bloggers find the time to write posts, read other posts, read emails, respond to emails? 


Why do I feel so guilty about something that is supposed to be a hobby? Something that I enjoy. 

WW: It's My Life!

 1. I used to dress up my cat Patches when I was a kid. There were many times when some one would open the door to my room and my cat would come hauling butt out with this wild look on her face. If she could have talked she would have said please some one help me!!! I'm being tortured. It's what happens when all you have is a little brother and you've been forbidden to dress him up in girly clothes, so you choose the next best thing.

2. There were times that my little brother did not escape my attempts at getting some one to join in my dress up time. He actually was a willing participant and let me paint his fingernails and toenails a few times. It was Barbie pink peel off nail polish. That was the last time it happened, because my father threatened my little brother that if he let me do it again he would make him wear a dress.

3. I will never forget the time my older brother ran the riding lawn mower up the side of the satellite dish( you remember those things- they were before the compact ones that you see on the roof) in our yard and blamed my little brother and I. He said we changed satellite direction and it moved causing him to get caught in the arm and run it down with the mower. My little brother and I were punished, spanked and sent to our rooms in tears knowing full well that we did not do that. The next day my brother confessed that he was riding the mower at full speed and lost control and blamed us. It still didn't take away that horrible memory.

4. It was the year that my parents finally got a "real" compact video camera, replacing the one that required you to carry a portable VCR in a bag, for Christmas. We had finished opening all our gifts and my brothers had both received RC cars that year. Mind you, I was 13 or 14 and was in full attitude for those years. My parents told me to take the camera and go video tape my brothers driving their cars. I was none too thrilled about this and proceeded to complain the entire walk through the house, down our driveway and down to our cul de sac, all while it was being recorded unbeknown to me. My parents still have that on tape. I'll never live it down.

5. My dachshund Schnitzl was the kind of dog who let you know if he didn't like some one. He usually barked at the person, growled at the person or in a few cases, peed on the person to let you know. My younger brother was dating this girl at the time and I never knew my dog had decided she was no good. Until one evening at my parents house. This girl was sitting on the couch in the family room and my dog jumped in her lap.She was loving on him when he decided he would let us all know that she wasn't acceptable. It was pretty funny. Until he did the same thing to my husband several years later. (yea, and we're still married)

6. My boyfriend (who is my husband now) thought he would be really cute and show me how fast his motorcycle could go up my parents driveway (they live on a large hill with a long driveway). It was cold that night and he had his riding gloves on. I was standing in the lawn watching him race it up the hill, smiling at him and then my face went to horror as he never stopped until he hit my car!! He smashed his bike right into the rear of my car with his bike. Apparently, his heavy gloves caught in the throttle and he couldn't stop it in time.It was pretty horrifying to watch.  I'll never let him live that down.

 7. My sister in law (my older brother's wife) used to hang out all the time when my brother was enlisted in the Navy. He was gone for boot camp and we went to the movies one night together. We bought the largest popcorn and ate the whole thing before the movie started.  When we left after the movie I joked to her and said next time we just need to buy a vat of popcorn.!! We actually just joked about it when we saw each other this last weekend.

8. Egg nog with nog. I'm not sure what your families call it, but when you add Wild Turkey or Bacardi Rum to your egg nog, it's nog with nog in my family. We used to drive around at Christmas to look at the lights and bring our "egg nog". It was so cold this one year and since we were piled into the bed of my dad's pickup truck we decided to wrap up in a large blanket, while he was driving down the road. We lost track of the egg nog jug until we heard this loud pop!!! We uncovered our heads just in time to see the egg nog all over the road. Needless to say, that was the last year of egg nog and pick up trucks.

 9.What is it about holidays?!? Family gatherings seem to bring more stories. There was the Christmas, back in the 80's that we spent sitting on our lawn while the turkey sat in the fridge because we were without power- ALL DAY. Apparently a little squirrel decided he wanted some warmth and somehow managed to get himself zapped, thus popping the transformer connected to our house. We found the only place, two towns over, that was open on Christmas Day for our Christmas dinner.

10. August 13th 1999. My birthday was on a Friday that year and my mother bought me a Ouija Board. I was born on Friday the 13th and was always fascinated with the spiritual side of being a Friday the 13th baby. We used the board that night. My boyfriend, my older brother, his wife, my younger brother and his then girlfriend. It creeped out most of the group, but we did use it. I won't go into detail, but I honestly believe it works.

I'm linking up with Mama Kat today and chose prompt #3.

 You know the stories that are retold a million times at family gatherings? I call them Life Stories that you just never live down. List your Top 10 Life Stories.

My title made me think of this song. Enjoy!!

Writer's Workshop: Man's Best Friend

Ginger

 Bandit

Jasper

Ryelee

Baron

It seems only like yesterday that some of these dogs were in my life. I'm an animal lover and besides horses, dogs are my favorite furry animal. I believe that most dogs are quite intelligent, but I have a had a few in my lifetime that are a few cards short of a deck. 

Bandit was a beautiful black and white husky with gorgeous blue eyes. My dad had his heart set on getting a husky with blue eyes and when he read the ad in the paper, he loaded us all up to go see this dog. The people selling it lived almost an hour away on a farm. 

I remember there being two puppies, Bandit and his sister, she was a caramel colored female with gold colored eyes. I wanted to bring her home but the decision wasn't up to me. We were there for the blue eyed dog. 

I vaguely remember the details, but my dad made a trade with this farmer and he traded our pet rabbits (my rabbit Black Beauty was included in this trade) with cash for the dog. That evening the farmer came back and loaded up our rabbits and the next day we went back to pick up the dog. That should have been a sign that it wasn't going to work out. He threw up several times in the car on the way home. It was awful. The dog was in the front passenger seat with my mom and she was hollering at my dad because the dog was vomiting. 

The same thing happened several times during the few years we had him. There was one time that after him throwing up my mom opened the car door and he jumped out and ran down the road. That dumb dog ran off and we had to chase him down. It was quite a scene.

He wasn't a very smart dog at all. Beautiful but dumb. 

After a few years of dealing with that dog, my parents put an ad in the paper. They gave him away. I cried the day he went.  Some body showed up that day, said they were there to see the dog and the exchange took place. My parents never disclosed their decision or plan to us kids.

 

I'm linked up with Mama Kat at 

Mamas Losin It

2.) List the names of five dogs from your lifetime. 

Write about why one sparks a stronger memory to you than the others.