Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Truth Will Set You Free

Note: I started this on Tuesday and never finished it. Yesterday I saw it and thought, well I don't need to post it as a PYHO because I had more on my heart at the time. But God works in mysterious ways and lead me to his word and gave me the push to write on this again. 

I know it's not Wednesday but I need a Pour Your Heart Out today. Why can't life be drama free? Why does drama have to find it's way into my life and try to tear it down? Why can't people keep their problems to themselves and not drag others in it?

We've separated ourselves from the friends that have created issues in our life. Not trying to be arrogant and say that we're better than anyone else, but if friends don't fit your lifestyle or the lifestyle you're trying to live, then you start distancing yourself. If you try to consciously do it, it is hard. And unconsciously we have found ourselves on the other side of the fence. The place where I want to be.

The more you involve yourself in other activities that don't include those people and don't join in what they're doing, the less interaction you have with them. Eventually they stop asking and it gets easier.

But the problem is when you are still friends with some of the people from your past. They are still linked to it. And you get yourself involved in the drama again without even trying.

I don't need that stress.

I worked so hard to distance myself from it. Life has been good. It's been quiet and enjoyable. No worries about who said what or did what.

You can't have relationships with people when it's based on nothing.

There once was a time when I enjoyed hanging out with them. Then I got a closer look into what kind of life they were leading. I realized that they weren't who I thought they were and the more I have tried to be a better mother, wife and Christian, I knew that I needed to separate myself from that.

I'm trying to find the reason that God has put me in this place. What is HIS purpose? Is it my lesson to learn? Or am I supposed to teach the lesson? I have yet to figure that out.

I feel like I'm caught in the middle without even trying. Gossip is a sin. And what I am involved in could be considered gossip even though what I have been discussing is the TRUTH. The truth about some one else that they cannot realize and are denying. And with their denying they are speaking non truths.About themselves and about others.

As much as I want to separate myself and walk away, as a good Christian I want to stand by their side until they see the light. The truth will see you free. John 8:32

 Who will this truth set free? Does it release the burden that those who have carried it on their hearts for so long? Maybe for yet a moment. But it has now been replaced with heartache. 

Ephesians 5:6-13 says Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light  (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out: Are you Listening?

I know I haven't talked much about Miss K and her academic performance in over a year. Actually since I wrote the post about her being tested for the Gifted Program at her school. The test was given last year while she was in second grade and unfortunately she did not pass.

I was disappointed and relieved at the same time. Disappointed because I truly believed she was smart enough to go into the program. Relieved, because at the time she was in a great class with an awesome teacher and I didn't want to pull her out of that class.

Then the realization hit me, that it was the best thing that she didn't make it. Miss K struggled with staying focused and on task. And she would have done poorly in a class that requires student independent working quite often.
We continually struggled with Miss K not paying attention, talking in class, getting out of of her seat and just "checking out" (mentally) during class. It was an uphill battle and tested my patience on many levels.After trying rewards for good behavior I thought I had gotten through to my daughter.

Thankfully with an understanding teacher, she did well and sometimes above average during the year.

So with all the hard work on both ends, for the teacher and I, Miss K passed second grade.

After experiencing a teacher who wants to work with me and my child, and sometimes going above and beyond, I chose Miss K's third grade teacher. It has been such a blessing. 

At the beginning of the school year, just like the past two years, Miss K was like a new child. Motivated, paying attention and listening to direction. Then it started all over again.

She has been coming home with "sign ins" in her daily report book, and has had to be constantly reminded to get back on task during class and at home with her homework. She not only struggles with school work but with everyday regular tasks at home.

The final blow came this week. Her teacher requested to talk to me about last week's math test. Miss K did not get a passing grade and the test makes up 40% of her final grade in math for the first nine weeks of school. I was crushed.

The thought has been in the back of my head for years about Miss K's inability to stay focused and perform everyday tasks. Then it bled into her performance at school and she has survived. But now it's affecting her ability to pass tests and will affect her ability to take the FCAT this coming Spring.I'm worried.

I decided I wasn't going to take no for answer with her pediatricians office about having her tested for a medically diagnosed problem. For years at her well visits, they brushed me off about her lack of focus, blaming on her age. Not anymore.

I was surprised that during my phone yesterday, the nurse said that they have a packet that needs to be filled out by me and her teacher. We are now taking the first step to trying to determine the issue. I am not afraid. I do not want my child to"slip through the cracks" in school because no one cares. We will conquer this and let no one step in my way.

So sorry to those of you who are regular readers of my blog. I am sure you have noticed that I have MIA for a week or so and I feel terribly for that. I have started so many posts and have not been able to finish them. I have had so much on my plate recently that even escaping to blog is not an option. Please bear with me and I will be back to normal soon. I love you guys.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Friday Fragments Episode #165

Here's to another wonderful week in the record books and successfully
making it through it.

Mommy's Idea 

PhotobucketI was so excited to finally witness an adult Monarch butterfly land on my milkweed plants and lay their eggs. My friend gave me a juvenile plant last year and we planted it and crossed our fingers that we would get butterflies. Our plant matured and released seeds and we grew more milkweed, but no butterflies came. Now multiple plants were blessed with eggs that have now hatched into teeny, tiny caterpillars.

Photobucket These last few weeks of preschool for Little E have really opened the flood gates on absorbing so much information. He tells me something new everyday. He told me that he wants to do everything in the world when he grows up. Starting with scuba diving, followed by riding a motorcycle and building something. I remember when Miss K was that age and she wanted to be a nurse. He has not narrowed anything as of yet.

Photobucket Miss K has been dancing again this year, the classes started a week before school started. She was asked to join the studio's competition group this year and she accepted the class that goes along with it. It's been tough for me with driving both kids to separate schools, work and dance classes 25 minutes from home. We were driving three times a week, and the dance instructor/owner finally agreed to let Miss K try a little more advanced tap class. This would put us to 2 days a week at the studio. Miss K nailed it! She did so beautifully, as if I had any doubt.


This weekend, the family an I are heading to the Ocala National Forest to browse and scope out our campsite for our annual family camping trip in November. We usually go camping with my husband's mother and stepdad during their annual hunt for deer, but they are not joining us this year. So we decided to pick a new site. Wish me luck!!


While trying to put Little E in some jeans this week to go to midweek church, I discovered he had outgrown ALL his pants. I figured that they were pretty long from last season and he grew some.... but none fit. You realize how much your child has grown when you buy school clothes or it's winter time.


I joined a n introduction class to Life Groups (small groups) at my church. This upcoming Wednesday class is the last one. After that they will figure out which group to have my family join, based on child ages, days we have during the week to attend and other factors. I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. There are a few groups that are full that I really want to be a part of and I'm not sure how they figure it out, but praying to God that he puts us in the best place.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

WW: Whose Effort?

So this weeks at Mama Kat's she posted this photo as one of her prompts and prompt #5 says, I have no idea where the following message originated from, but it’s been floating around Facebook for the past week…who does it make you think about?:

This thought was on my mind this week and really on my heart tonight while driving home. I had the pleasure of being able to drive home from church without the offspring tonight. Yeah, I'm feeling kinda raw lately and my babies are the offspring tonight. They were a little off the wall today.  Okay, I'm getting off track.

I'm going to answer this question, without really answering it. Yeah I know, that defeats the purpose but, it's my blog.

They know who they are. Every one has people in their life, or maybe shouldn't be in their life that fits that statement. My sister in law calls it "cleaning your friends closet".

The first time she told me that, I was like what the??? you want me to do what???

I haven't followed her mantra but sometimes it just happens on it's own. Sometimes I wish it would happen on it's own without any effort from me. That would be easy.

So if they don't make the effort, then why should I???

Enough said. 


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

RemembeRED: Conjure

I could feel it coursing through my veins. With every beat of my heart, I could hear the sound inside my quiet eardrums.

The thumping growing louder in my chest. Da dump, da dump. Da dump.

Like the moment a needle hits the vein, the feeling had taken over me. It was in control and my actions of the situation depended on my full control. It would guide me but not maneuver me. 

My mind raced with many emotions all at once but I needed to stay focused on what had to be done.

My instinct took over and I calculated what the outcome should be. You could see it in my eyes. The tone of my voice had changed from a low to that of a rabid animal.

The emotion was raw, like an open wound. It easily surfaced.

I would not let what others had done to me, be repeated with my offspring. Their well being depended on my course of action. I would not stand by and witness it anymore.