Friday Fragments: Episode #183

My husband decided to have dinner out on Tuesday night after Miss K's dance class. She gets finished by 6:45-7:00pm so it's a common thing for us to go out. But this week was the Schwan's Tuesday and since this weekend is Superbowl weekend I needed snacks for the party. For the life of me I could not remember the delivery man's name. I had the hubs leave him at note.. addressed..Dear Schwans' man. Yeah, that's pretty sad. 

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I punished the kids this week with taking away the privilege of riding in daddy's Element when they wouldn't obey and were being disrespectful to me. It was a long ride home for me having to listen to Little E saying  "we're never getting to ride in daddy's car again" over and over and over again, in between sobs. It was more of a punishment for me than them!

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I walked into the restroom at work on Wednesday to wash m my hands real quick, knowing that Little E was in there. I figured he was probably sitting on the toilet reading a magazine. To my surprise, he was standing in the sink trying to get a paper towel. Of course the first one he yanked off, tore and it was not good enough anymore. Again, he is becoming more OCD daily.

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I was so glad to see that Grey's Anatomy was new this week. It was quite a different episode than normal and my husband said he just couldn't get into it.

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I'm planning a Super Bowl party for this weekend. I've bought most of the food and we've invited a few people but some can't come. So I hope I don't have too much food. I've got wings, twice baked potatoes, cheese sticks, dip and chips, mini pizza puffs. I haven't had a party since Miss K's birthday and I'm actually excited about entertaining.

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I try really hard each week to keep up with my weekly devotions for church. This week I've actually made the time to read the booklet and keep up with the Bible passages. I want to share a few sentences that really struck a cord with me in my devotional book. 

Christianity is not just about getting forgiven and going to Heaven when we die.To give God nothing when he has given us so much would be to sin against his love; it would be to turn God into our servant and salvation into an insurance policy. 
 It makes you really think.

PYHO: Drawing the Line

I tried feverishly without any luck to find a previous post to give back information on the post I am writing about. Of course, I'm not very good at always labeling my posts and cannot find the one I want. I thought for sure that it was a PYHO that I posted it in, but I cannot seem to find it. so hopefully for those of you who read my blog regularly, you'll remember this person. If not, I hope that I can give you enough back ground.

When do I draw the line? Or where do I draw the line? This friend of mine has made decisions and said things that have bothered me before and being the good friend, I let them go.

 When we first became friends it was just she and I. We spent time together, having long conversations and enjoying each others company. One of the conversations was about when they used to have a playroom in their house before their youngest was born. They used to have the children of their guests play in there with their own children. After their youngest was born, instead of letting other children play in their kid's rooms with their kids they forbade it.

I didn't think much of it. She told me that the rule applied to her sister's kids because they were destructive and broke toys and made messes they didn't clean up.

The first time we got our families together, my kids were allowed in the bedrooms. I thought nothing of it.

A few times later, we showed up to closed bedroom doors. It wasn't noticed until Little E attempted to go into her boys' room and was told he wasn't allowed. That struck a nerve. 

Really?

My kids have never been allowed to leave some one elses house without helping to clean up and we have never broken a toy. So what the hell happened?

Of course I let it go. I never said anything. Which I regret now.

I thought subtlety sending the message that if she was going to dis include my kids, then I would be the same way. But it only lasted so long at my house.

My husband and I decided that we would limit the playing to either Miss K's room or Little E's. We alternated it each time. We haven't been together with our families in awhile and the kids were really excited about having their friends over. I still had my rule of one room open. It was a bad night for me and maybe I was just feeling weak and didn't want to argue.

Miss K asked me if she and one of the girls could go in her room and the rest of the crew play in Little E's. Sure, why not.

You would think a child the age of eleven, my friend's oldest, would be the most responsible. Maybe when they're keeping a close eye on him. He should have been the one keeping an eye on the little ones to prevent breaking toys, but he broke several toys that belonged to Little E.

You know how it goes though. They don't say they broke the toy. The kids bring it to me and tell me it needs new batteries. I was a little surprised since the toy was only three weeks old. I complied and replaced the batteries. Yeah, it didn't fix the problem. After further inspection,it was discovered the toy was broken. A toy that I don't know where to buy, since I have never seen one in the store. One that was a gift from my older brother to my son.

The icing on the cake. My friend never offered to replace it or even half attempt to. Not that I would have let her pay for it, but the offer would have settled my mind. So now I am unsettled about it.

So the line has been drawn. I'm not sure if I should say something? We're pretty close of friends, or at least I thought so. Do I risk the friendship? It is that petty? I know that if I don't say anything, my actions will speak louder than words. The next get together at my house, you'll be sure to know that the bedrooms doors will be locked. The message will be loud and clear. Even without words.





I am linking up with Shell at Things I Can't Say for her weekly meme, Pour Your Heart Out. Link up and join, read others, support those who have poured their heart out this week.

My 365 list for 2012

Have you ever heard of a 365 list? I hadn't until last week when one of my fellow bloggers, Kerri @ Kerri's Klutter posted about it. I'm not one for making resolutions for the New Year and when I read her idea, it seemed better suited for me.

It's making a list of goals for the upcoming year instead of resolutions. I used to make resolutions but I could never quite stick with any of them. After I read Kerri's take on this, I figured I could certainly try this. In her words, this is what it is.


Here’s what to do. 
Find a quiet place to think ahead, to the next day, into the weeks ahead of you and of the months full of possibility…. then write down: 
3 things you’d like to work on 
6 things you hope to do 
5 things you would like to get rid of 
Keep the list somewhere you can access it when you need a boost, some direction or a reminder of what you said you’d like to do with your year. Then try. Be kind, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t find lines drawn through every single thing come December 31, 2011…
“You haven’t failed until you stop trying” 

Sounds pretty easy to me.

List for 2012

3 Things I'd like to work on

1. Making better eating choices, get more exercise
2. Patience
3. Organization, filing

6 Things I hope to do

1. Take the kids to South Carolina in the Fall
2. Start my vegetable garden again. 
3. Finish painting my kitchen and hallway.
4. Work on my scrap booking more than once this year. Attend one conference.
5.Prepare myself to sign up Little E for tee ball and rearrange my schedule with Miss K
6. Date night with my husband, once a month.

5 Things I'd like to get rid of

1. The wall border in Little E's room (still up from the nursery theme)
2. The crap under my bed. I don't know what half of it is.
3. All the old shoes in my closet that I don't wear and add them to the pile of clothes ready for Goodwill.
4. 20 lbs off my butt, legs and thighs
5. The empty cd boxes that are piled up in the computer room. My husband thinks we still need them, yet the cd's are filed elsewhere and downloaded on the computer and hard drive.

Friday Fragments #179

Little E decided that the scar on his chin wasn't enough,  he fell off my stool that I sit on at work. It has metal rungs on the bottom, his shoes were wet and he lost his grip while climbing to sit on it. His chin smacked the counter top and then he slid down the front of the rough formica edge scratching his neck. It was the largest strawberry scratch I have ever seen, that was even bleeding a little. I'm thankful that it wasn't much worse. It would have been a bad ending to the Christmas Break.

I still have my Christmas tree up. This week I found some time to move most of the gifts that the kids have been storing under it still. They must think it's going to be there until this Christmas. I'm sure the cat would like it if I left it up, he's been using it as a hiding place from the dog.



My husband found himself a new vehicle after his car accident. Our insurance company decided that his car was a total loss. Thankfully they valued it enough to pay off the lien plus enough for a down payment on another vehicle. He told me the other night that he actually likes his Element better than he liked his Civic. And he LOVED his Civic. I am not exaggerating.

I've been waiting for days, weeks, months....well maybe... for my favorite television shows to come back on and this is the week they have all started back on. Oh how I have missed Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. I have been filling my lonely tv time with Investigation Discovery channel and Discovery Channel. Not like those channels are bad, but I have seen like everything on them. now .

I failed as a plant owner this year. I blame it on the fact that I did not get any early November cold nights that dipped into the 50's or so to warn me. To prepare me for frigid, col, VERY cold weather that decided to dip into oh, lets say 24 degrees. Now my lawn sucks...my plants are burnt, droopy and dead.

I love when I take cues from other people and it works out. I saw one of Little E's teachers eating sushi for lunch today and thought oh that looks so yummy. Then on my way home from work the kids asked what we were having for dinner and I thought for a moment and heard something about sushi on the radio. oh that sounds so yummy. After turning my van around and heading to the supermarket, I saw on my husband's cousin's facebook page that he enjoyed some sushi tonight. Oh yeah that is going to be so yummy. And it was.

PYHO: No One Said it Would Be Easy

For the first time in my life I am not upset or mad that a friend of mine made a choice that has affected me in a hurtful way. I think because I expected it to happen. I had hoped that it wouldn't. But you cannot control what other people are going to do.

For several months I have been dealing with issues in regards to secrets and truths about another friend, who I will name A. My other friend M, with whom I disappointed about, was best friends with A. M knew there was something bothering her husband about A's husband, but she was not aware of the secret until early November when her husband finally confronted A's husband about his cheating on his wife.

I knew A's husband was cheating. But how do you tell your friend that her husband is cheating? You don't. There is no easy or right way to do it. It always backfires when you tell some one else that their loved one is doing something wrong. And I've always been taught not to meddle.

M's husband had known for quite some time about the infidelity and A's husband had sworn him to secrecy about it and promised that he wouldn't cheat anymore. The problem: he had not stopped and was beginning to have a relationship with another woman. A's husband had decided enough was enough and was going to sever the friendship between the families. He felt that A's husband was a bad influence and didn't want his children around that.

M was devastated that her friendship was jeopardy. After the confrontation between the husbands, A called M. A was furious with her friend, she was in denial about her husband and she did not know who to believe. M tried talking to A and giving her advice, but A was not having anything to do with that.

Sadly, it created tension everywhere. My husband, who also knew of the infidelity, was confronted by A's husband just a day after the shoe was dropped. A's husband was trying to cover all his tracks and when he spoke with my husband  he said, " let's keep what you  know on the down low". My husband flat out refused to lie for him anymore. Which only forced the end to my friendship with A also.

I have been content without having A in my life anymore. My husband and I had already started distancing ourselves from them and the group of friends that we all hung out with. I have thought of her many times and prayed for her healing, since she chose to stay with her husband. Which is another post entirely.

But M is not content. She has not taken the separation well and I knew that she wouldn't. M and her husband have been coming to church with my husband and I regularly since the confrontation. There have been several sermons where it was as if the pastor knew what was going on. M and I would look at each other during service and we knew.

However, she has taken the messages differently than I have. Which can happen. So just the other day we were talking on the phone and she asked me about making plans to go see MJ in the end of January. Of course I was wanting to go too. Then she dropped the bomb. "Well A and her husband are going and they are getting a head count."  WHAT??


I couldn't believe that she was going with them and wanted to know if I wanted to go too? I am still in shock about it as I write this. I told her that I would not be hanging around that crowd and we got off the phone. That same day in the evening I wrote her through text. I flat out asked her if she and A were on good terms again.

I knew the answer but I wanted to hear it from her. She said that they were kosher and that she forgave A, which I still don't understand. A should have been asking for forgiveness for turning her back on her friends. I can understand wanting to stay with your husband and working through the issues, getting marriage counseling. But don't turn your back on your friends.

I am not mad about M choosing to go back. Disappointed, yes. I had half hoped that it would have been longer so that M could see what it was like to have her own life. She has always been a shadow of A and tries to always be like her. I knew it was tough for her to not be wrapped up in A's life and I was so proud that she was making decisions for herself.

I will be a good friend and still be friends with M. But I will not associate with A anymore, not even for M. I am doing what is best for my family.

WW: Whose Effort?

So this weeks at Mama Kat's she posted this photo as one of her prompts and prompt #5 says, I have no idea where the following message originated from, but it’s been floating around Facebook for the past week…who does it make you think about?:

This thought was on my mind this week and really on my heart tonight while driving home. I had the pleasure of being able to drive home from church without the offspring tonight. Yeah, I'm feeling kinda raw lately and my babies are the offspring tonight. They were a little off the wall today.  Okay, I'm getting off track.

I'm going to answer this question, without really answering it. Yeah I know, that defeats the purpose but, it's my blog.

They know who they are. Every one has people in their life, or maybe shouldn't be in their life that fits that statement. My sister in law calls it "cleaning your friends closet".

The first time she told me that, I was like what the??? you want me to do what???

I haven't followed her mantra but sometimes it just happens on it's own. Sometimes I wish it would happen on it's own without any effort from me. That would be easy.

So if they don't make the effort, then why should I???

Enough said. 







 

Guest Posting

In lieu of a regular post today..did I just say that? Ok I humor myself, because really would I have had a regular post today. Probably not. I'm trying to figure out how to write posts when I am now going to bed at 10:00pm to be able to wake at the crack of dawn to get the kids and I ready to go to school. Little E didn't even want to wake up yesterday because after looking out his blinds from his bunk bed he says "mom, it's not even light out yet. We don't wake up yet." Poor child. I spoiled him over the summer.

So after I stop squeeeing with delight about this. I want to let you know that I am guest posting over at my dear bloggy friend's blog, Single Mom in the South. If you haven't met her, you will just love her like I do. Head over and show her some love!! Happy Tuesday y'all!

Shame on you

You know the saying hurt me once, shame on you, hurt me twice, shame on me. Well shame on me. I try to overlook the bad things, the stuff that goes on that bothers me. No one is perfect, so you can't always pick people apart. Everyone has their faults.

But I'm tired of always giving in. Being the nice person and not saying what I really feel. I guess I figure if I don't say anything, then I can save the friendship. Because if I tell her how I really feel then the friendship is over. What's the point???

Why does it matter? At this point I'm tired of getting let down.

After telling me that she and her family would be coming to Little E's party and the day before, after I've already bought all the food and gift bags for the kids, she tells me. I knew it was coming.

We were chatting online and she asks me to call her. I had some family visiting so she asked me to call after they left. I had time to mull it over in my head before calling and figured she was bailing.

Sure as the world, she did. And the infamous line I know you're going to be upset with me, and I understand. Bullshit!
Do you really understand?! The same woman who complains about people doing rude things. Inconsiderate things. Well, I'd like to tell her that she falls right into that category.

I thought she was different.

And she came up with this crap excuse that really pissed me off. Saying that they had to go to this function for church and that she really didn't want to go and her son was torn about going because he wanted to go to my son's party. Blah blah blah.

Whatever!

I'm not done with this situation. During the phone call I didn't know what to say. But I can't let this go. It is bothering me enough that if we're as good of friends as I thought, then she needs to hear me out. She really hurt me.

It doesn't matter at this point where the friendship goes. Because if I don't say anything, then I'm going to just push her away. And if I do say something, then I may just push her away. Whatever.

I'm so tired of being crapped on.

PYHO:Spades are always spades

I was going to write about my dysfunctional in laws again for this Pour Your Heart Out and I had already started the post in my thoughts. Then something happened Monday evening that really deserves the attention. I have to get this off my chest. I wanted to spill it out on the social media forum where it escalated but I'm going to be a better person. I try to avoid drama and people who say they hate drama, actually enjoy creating it. Case in point, a so called friend, or as the new term I hear a lot lately, frenemy.

I blame myself for not being a better judge of character. Maybe reconnecting years after being friends in high school was a mistake.

There have been several things that have raised a red flag with me. I've only recently started putting the pieces to the puzzle together. I usually over analyze situations or conversations and it gets me into trouble. Not this time. Without actually pointing the finger at me, I know it's me.

She and I started playing an online game against each other through our phones. Hanging with Friends. If you have an iPhone you may know it. It's pretty much like hangman that you used to play as a kid. She beat me the first game. The second game however. I was beating her. And as far as I believe she couldn't believe that I was winning on my own so she throws a word that in no way she figured on her own.

The word in question. Zariba. What in the hell kind of word is that? Especially with previous words like ejector, pursed, bites, folk, quits, thins....do we have a pattern? I'm certain she has an average vocabulary.

So after I figured her word out with some help the game went downhill from there. The next two words that she had to solve that I gave her, she didn't try. She guessed crap letters to lose the game. I wondered what in the hell was going on. Later that evening while browsing Facebook I saw a comment she made to another friend of ours, whom I am also playing the same game with. It went on to say that she was quitting all her games because of cheaters. Sore loser if you ask me.

I will defend my reason for using a cheat to figure out her word. She cheated first and used a word that she has no way of knowing the meaning of without the use of a dictionary. I could bet that she didn't like losing fair and square so she threw a word like that at me. I fell for that trap and cheated. Only that once did I use another phone app to figure out the word. It's just a game.

The point is not that I cheated, the point is that she couldn't say something to my face about it. She had to run her mouth on a social network where I would read it. She could have texted that friend the same exact comment. But she LOVES attention. She wanted others to read it and put their two cents in. Of course leaving out the part that she did. People need to grow up, stop acting like we're still in high school.

I really wanted to run my mouth on the thread. I wanted to call a spade a spade. But it's not worth it. It won't do any good.

I know where I stand.

RemembeRED:Going up in Flames

In one evening my life was spiraling out of control and I could do nothing to stop it. One moment I'm smiling and enjoying the evening with a hundred children the next I'm collapsed on the floor of my kitchen sobbing tears. I will never forget that moment in my life when my husband walked out of my life and I was caught off guard.

The emptiness. The fear of the unknown of what the future held for me. I had to collect myself for the children. At that moment my life wasn't about me anymore, it was about the well being of my two innocent children.

I was numb and went through the motions that evening. Baths. Teeth. Brushing hair. Vitamins. Bed time stories. Kisses and hugs.

After that, I couldn't tell you what I did. If I had to guess ,I cried myself to sleep that night. If I even slept that much. I remember being exhausted mentally and physically.

The morning didn't bring much peace to my mind, but I continued through what was expected of me as a mother. I would not let my problems affect their lives. Not then. Not yet. I hoped that he would call and we could work it out before the kids questioned why he wasn't there.

I knew that I couldn't do this alone, but my husband, their father was unreachable.

Not answering my calls.

I did what I was afraid to do. The shame of being a woman whose husband walked out on her is not the label I wanted. But I called my friend,I needed to tell some one. She did not judge me. She listened to my cries and sobs. She was there for me.

I would not have survived that weekend if she had not been there for me. She held me up when I felt that I couldn't go on. She stood by side. She stepped in like a friend, a good friend should do. I am forever grateful for her compassion, love and friendship.

I grew up that weekend and learned a few things about myself. I discovered that when I am weak, that it's okay to ask for help and turn to some one. I realized that I don't always have to have it all together, that no one is perfect. I learned who my true friends are. I learned to let my walls down and open up to others besides just my husband.

This vulnerable time in my life opened doors to friendships that were still in the developing stages. Those friendships are stronger and those women have built me up in ways that I never expected.

I am forever grateful for their presence in my life that weekend and thereafter. I can't imagine where I would be if they had not been there. You find your true friends amidst the flames. When your life is in flames, the ones pulling you out are the ones who love you the most.




This week we want you to recall something in your life that seemed terrible at the time, but looking back, brought you something wonderful.

A positive from a negative experience.

Ultimate Blog Party 2011

I can't believe that it's already that time again for the Ultimate Blog Party 2011 hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom!! I joined for the first time last year and it was great to meet new blogs and make new friends. Not to mention the daily activities, Twitter parties and fabulous prizes they are offering. It is a ingenious way to bring thousands of blogs together to join in on some fun!

Welcome to my blog, My Crazy Kind of Wonderful my home away from home so to speak. My name is Tiffany, I’m a 30 something mom to two wonderful, beautiful blessings who define how I am as a mother and a wife to a patient, loving husband who lets me be just me. I love cooking new recipes and making up my own, organizing, cleaning and meal planning. I take pride in my faith with Christianity and teaching my children the love of God. My desire is to raise Christ loving, well rounded citizens out of my children.

For the newcomers and my regular readers I'm going to give you a flashback of random posts from the past year that give you a better idea of who I am and what I have going on in my OCD brain. Posts about my faith in God or when I questioned not discussing parenting roles with the hubs. ( my pen name for my partner in crime) I post about my struggles with friendships and why I think that the friends you have when you're a child pave the road for insecurities in life.

I love writing about my children that I have been blessed to protect, mother and spoil rotten.

I love challenging myself in my ability to write and like to participate in a few weekly memes that give me that chance. I recently started joining in writing at the red dress club and find the positive and constructive criticism a great way to better my writing. I like the idea of a suggestion or a prompt to write about, because when I'm having writer's block it's simpler. My other favorite meme, The Writer's Workshop has been a favorite of mine with it's weekly prompts to choose from that challenge my mind. One of my longest and most fun WW posts was 100 things about me, my bucket list.

Blogging has been one of the greatest things I ever started doing. When I talk about my blog to other people some question why? and why would you tell people you don't know things about your life? Because when it's hard in real life to reach people who really understand, my blog is an outlet for others to read and relate. I enjoy the friendships I have made, some very wonderful ladies out there who let me know that I am important and not alone. That they are there when I need to cry, laugh, vent or share a secret. Blogging for me is a safe place to tell it all. Like or not.

I hope to meet some more great and wonderful fellow bloggers during the party. We're all in this together.

Just sit back and enjoy the ride!!

Somewhere Marvelous

I'm taking a break from my regularly scheduled, err well mostly regular scheduled Thursday post, this week. Because today you will find me guest posting for my fellow bloggy friend Marvelous Mommy! She just had a new baby girl a few days ago and is spending some time adjusting and snuggling her new bundle. So go on over and give her some love today or every day and check it out.

5QF:Fun

So I was so eager to see Mama M.'s 5QF questions yesterday

but they were not posted when I looked. So I am working on
them today, FRIDAY. Because this Friday I actually am sitting at home.
It is soooo nice.

1. Have you worn the same outfit more than one day in a row? Not an entire outfit. I have worn a pair of jeans more than one or two days in a row but when it's cold out and you don't have to worry about sweating in them you can go a few days.
My OCD life will not permit me to wear a shirt or panties more than one day in a row! That is just ewwww.

2. If you had to choose any LARGE city to live in, which would it be?
I would live in New York City! Now don't get me wrong, I like where I live because it's not crowded and I can get in MY car and drive myself somewhere without TONS of traffic BUT I would love to experience city life! The BIG city life! Broadway shows, outside diners, corner vendors with hot dogs, the BIG department stores and walking along the sidewalks to get where you're going!
Living in a 3 bedroom apartment in a high rise with a doorman and some one to walk my dogs for potty breaks! It would be kinda nice.

3. Fly or drive with the kids on vacation?
Well, if money was NOT an option I would say fly. Because driving anywhere more than five hours with the kids is NOT my idea of fun. Too many potty breaks, movie changes and "when are we going to be there!?"'s. ugh. But traveling in the night when they are sleeping is GREAT but it doesn't happen often because that means some one has to drive at night and be completely exhausted.

4. What is your idea of "spring cleaning"?
Purging and dumping out all the accumulated crap from the previous year, moving all the furniture and sucking up all the dust bunnies in every crevice. Wiping down all the knick knacks and airing out the house. Cleaning carpets with a deep cleaner, waxing the floors and dusting EVERYTHING!
I LOVE to clean because I am SO OCD about cleaning. It's hard to do DEEP cleaning often with a 3 1/2 year old in tow all the time. So when I get an opportunity to do it, I take it.

5. What is the best book you have ever read?
Hmmm. I love to read and I would say the best book that has really moved me was The Shack. I am reading a new book for my book club that Laura The Purseblogger started and it's pretty good so far. It's called Cutting for Stone.
I would like to say that the BIBLE is the best book I have read but I have not read the whole book yet. Not from front page to back page. I have read a lot of the Chapters but I like to dig deep into it and understand what it means. So it's a work in progress.

That's it! Hope y'all have a fabulous Friday and weekend! Tomorrow we're taking the kids to Sea World. We have annual passes which makes it more relaxing. No rushing to see it all and going with the flow. And I am making my favorite new burger recipe Cowabunga burgers for my friend Erin and her family tonight. Family FUN night at my house tonight!!!

PYHO: Hold the Glass, Give me the Bottle

Thank you Shell for creating this meme. It's easier to open
my heart when I know that I'm not the only one pouring it
out and spilling my soul on the blogsosphere today.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

Do you know what it's like to be a 10 year old shy kid who invites a dozen girls to your birthday party and only two people show up? And then at your own party you become the third wheel. Then many years later as a grown up you throw a candle party and one of your close friends come? Two of the others say "yes I'll be there" but then you see their Facebook update and they're going out for the night with friends. It sucks.

You should be able to grow up and not harbor those inadequate feelings from your childhood but it's pretty hard. Experiencing being the wallflower, the kid who got ignored at slumber parties or picked on makes you very reserved. You make sure that you don't put yourself in situations that will make you feel like that kid again. But will you ever learn.

I had been wanting to have a girls night with some friends. The hubs said I deserved a night without the kids ad he was more than willing to be sole parent for a night. I planned a girls night at my house to have dinner and play cards. It was going to be a potluck meal with me preparing the main dish. I called my best friend and she was more than willing to come and she would ask her friend J to come along too. I asked two other friends to come and one said sure thing and another one hemmed and hawed. She wouldn't give me a definite answer and when I decided to ask a few more of my girlfriends I realized that they were all going to another event (that I had decided not to pay to go to this year). So I was down to four girls including myself.

Then a day before my best friend tells me that her friend J won't be able to make it. Bummer. Not it was down three. It was falling apart. I called my friend who wouldn't give me a yes or no and tried my best to convince her to come. The problem for her: no sitter and hubby was working and wasn't getting home until at least 3-4 hours after my party was to start.

Saturday morning, the day of the GNO I decided to cancel it. It was going to be a bust and I figured I would just reschedule it for another weekend. I had already purchased my main course and the hubs was slow cooking it in the crock pot. I called my best friend and asked if we could just have a combined family dinner with her kids and mine. It was a date. I wasn't feeling too bad about not having my girls night. Until later.

If you tell some one that you cannot go to their event and you change your plans and go with some one else with your said husband who was working, don't post it on Facebook. And if you do, expect everyone, including the person you said no to, to read it.

That is exactly what happened. I was mortified! My husband was checking FB and told me what my friend wrote as her status. I could not believe that my friend did this to me. I could have let bygones be bygones and learned from this lesson, but nope I was pissed and hurt. Why is that people feel the need to stomp on me? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn from this but I know that I will not let things other people do tear me down.

Prayers for Gavin

I believe in the power of prayer. The more prayers being said I believe that God will hear us. One of the blogs that I read posted today about a friend's newborn baby that was born 5 weeks early. This story touched my heart and I am passing this along to my readers. Please take a moment and read the story and pray for Baby Gavin and his family. Let's pray that he leaves the NICU and goes home to his family soon!

A place in my heart

Do you ever wonder who your "real" friends are? I don't think about it too much because it might be just a waste of time. I have had a few recent incidents that gave me reason to reflect on this subject. My sister in law is turning 30 this month and I wanted to make sure the day was celebrated with friends. When I turned 30 four years ago she threw me a party at her house which really was special for me. She invited a few a my friends and several of her friends. I thought the least I could do was try and give her the same kind of thing.
I called her husband about what he had planned and pretty much as far as he had gotten was getting a sitter and going to dinner. I was hoping to keep my ideas a secret but he spoke to her about it. So she and I exchanged some text messages about ideas and she wasn't sure our friends would come. I asked her why not and she said they didn't come to her party last year. I told her " you plan the party, invite them and if they don't come, then eff em." (MY exact words) I told her that they have done the same crap to me. But when the tables are turned and they invite us to something they EXPECT us to show up. And if we don't we get the guilt trip. Friends don't treat friends like that.
I have come to realize, well.. I've known this for awhile...they are not TRUE friends. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. Years ago I would have wept that these people didn't like me and I was lonely and would have done anything to hang with them. Not anymore. I don't have time to waste on petty crap. I think when I met these "friends" that they were different people or at least I thought they were different people and since the years have gone by I have grown apart from them.
It's like that poem..Friends for a reason, a season, a lifetime a year. You know the one? They were stepping stones. They were there when I needed them and they needed me. I have found many more friends and great people from being friends with them. I would not have met two of my best friends if I had not met them. It was meant to be. It's funny how things like that happen.
I have found some real friends through the paths and relationships with other friends. The old friends will not be forgotten, for they will always have a place in my heart, just not on the top anymore.

Scrapbook Weekend 1

I'm bacccckkk! Did anyone miss me? I left Friday afternoon to go to a scrapbook retreat that ended on Sunday afternoon and was away from blogging. I had an amazing time scrap booking pictures, bonding with friends, making new friends and enjoying some country nature. The best part was enjoying some ME time away from being some one's mommy or wife for the weekend. All I had to worry about was myself and enjoying one of my favorite hobbies.
I got to the Bible Camp on 2 pm on Friday afternoon to meet up with my friends Toni and Mindy who invited me. I met them while going to a yearly scrapbook crop held at a Creative Memories consultant three years ago. We have frequented some of the same scraps from then on out and only recently became close friends. Mindy's and my kids both attend the same elementary school and found out that we live only one street away from each other.
Mindy and I shared and eight foot table all weekend and Toni sat across from us on another eight foot table. There were about 21 women total at the retreat from all over Florida. Some were from as far as Fort Lauderdale. Friday afternoon I spent about two hours organizing my photos, setting up my area and preparing my work for the weekend. I went to bed about 12:30am on Friday night and woke up Saturday morning about 7 am. The camp kitchen served a continental breakfast at 7 am and I got started after enjoying a hot cup of coffee to wake me up. The sleeping in a bunk bed really killed my neck and back. I really wish I had brought more pillows and a heating pad for my aching muscles.
By 10:30am the kitchen served a hot cooked breakfast of eggs, biscuits, gravy, sausage, bacon and grits. I enjoyed eating some great food with my friends and we got back to cutting photos and working on pages. Mindy and I laughed so much about some new friends we met who sat across from us. Tina and Melissa were a silly pair of ladies who came from Brandon, FL that are best friends. They showed up late on Friday night and shortly after arriving at the camp left again to go to Wal mart. By the time they settled back in at their seats we were heading to bed and they said they were going to be pulling an all-nighter. Saturday morning they joined us at the second breakfast and looked like they didn't sleep too well.
It was joked about my snoring. Yes. I snore. Toni was in the bunk next to mine and she said she pulled on my foot and I actually stopped. She was afraid that she might have woken me up but I reassured her that I sleep "like the dead" and it wouldn't have been possible. Enjoying my friends company all weekend was exactly what I needed.
We spent the day trading stories of our lives and bonding while working on our photos. Both of us being stay at home moms gives us the connection and being able to step out from being the sole care giver for a weekend only brought us closer. I went to bed Saturday night praying to God and thanking him for bringing such people in my life. I believe that he has a purpose for everyone we meet and I find it fascinating the way we come in contact with the people we meet. I made friends with my sister in law who is my husband's stepsister, she introduced me to my circle of friends where I met one of my best friends, through that group I made some more friends and made my other best friend and through my circle who introduced me to scrap booking I met Toni and Mindy. It's fate, I tell you. I truly believe that Mindy will be one of my best friends, if not a friend for life. I feel so comfortable with her and when you spend time in the rough (yes, staying in a kids camp cabin on bunk beds is rough) and wear only your pj's for half the day without a bra, yeah you bond.
It's like an adult sleepover without talking about boys.
I went to bed at 3 am on Saturday night by myself since Toni and Mindy went in before me. Mindy stayed up until 2 am but she was looking pretty exhausted and I had just a few more pages that I HAD to finish while the thoughts of creativity were still in my mind. I was the last to wake up on Sunday morning at 9 am even though I set my alarm for 8 am. My friends had already went into the rec hall to work on their books and some of the other ladies were getting cleaned up and showered while I tried to wake. I felt a bit embarrassed about being the last one and crawled out from my bed. We exchanged idle chit chat and few apologies about hoping they didn't wake me.
I got freshened up and headed to the kitchen for some coffee and made it in time for breakfast that was being served at 9:30 am. I dug right into my scrapping that morning since it was our last day and we had to be ready to leave and cleaned up by 2 pm. I was feeling a bit sad and was going to miss my friends after we left. I really missed my kids and husband but in the scheme of things, life doesn't allow much time for hanging out with friends on a weekly basis. But the one thing I did want to get home was to relax. Staying up WAY late was fun but it takes a toll on you and I'm still exhausted. I took a two hour nap today and I'm still feeling behind. Not to mention my lovely cold is still lingering and my medicine is all tomorrow.
I enjoyed my time with my friends. I can't wait until January, the camp is holding another retreat. Sounds like Mindy and I will be going. Toni will not be since she is going to Hawaii for a vacation. I'm looking forward to it.
I will have to write more later about some of the drama of the weekend, since this was a Bible Camp that is run by a different denomination than I practice or my friends practice. I'll save that for later...

To be or not to be...

I have read posts on other blogs that talk about the Top 10 Reasons you should avoid Facebook. I laugh at them but it's like crack or alcohol or candy. You can't get enough. You say you'll stay away and stop using it but it calls my name. FB is one of the top 3 internet places I visit each week. I'm usually reading what my "friends" are doing and occasionally write what I am doing. Seriously, I put what I'm doing for a few friends that I communicate through there. But really if you are close enough to me you know what I'm doing or I've texted you or spoke to you. It really doesn't matter if you commented or not, I know you read it. It's virtual stalking.
Yes, I'm nosy. Who isn't? But facebook pisses me off too. Well the people putting their crap out there does. It gets old reading what you bought, or shouldn't have bought or who you're going out with or my favorite: the cryptic status. The vague ones that give you half details and of you ask them about it you never get a straight answer. Those drive me nuts! Those attention craving people who enjoy posting stuff just to get attention.
I try to keep a level head about what I read on there. If I show that something like that bothers me then they get what they wanted. Attention. Whether it's negative or positive. My biggest thorn has been a particular person buying things and flaunting them on their status. Really? Some people might say it's jealousy but I am no way jealous. I guess I could just block them. Because frankly, I could give a damn.
Oh Facebook, how I once loved you but lately.....you have not been a good friend.

PINT: Inside my 12 Hours

This is the last week of PINT with
Supah Mommy. So if you have never linked up before
why not?
Let's make history and show some bloggy love and
make it a fabulous farewell to the lady
who made Tuesday a little yellow sticky note day.

I've Been Tagged

I was recently tagged by one of my best
blog friend's Laura, The Purse Blogger.
The rules are pretty simple
Answer the tagger's 8 questions, tag 8 more people
and come up with 8 questions for them.

Laura's Questions:

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss? My first kiss with a tongue was when I was 12

2. What is your favorite cereal? I like cereal so this is a tough one. My most favorite is Honey Bunches of Oats, but if I'm feeling like a kid again I'll eat a bog bowl of Reese's Puffs.

3. Are you a patient person? umm, no. But I do have moments that I surprise myself!

4. What is one of your pet peeves? drivers who do not use their blinkers!

5. Brad Pitt: Love him or hate him? neither

6. Who's blog would you love to take over for a day? Shell's at Thing's I Can't Say

7. What is your dream car? anything Lexus

8. Do you have a Mac or Windows? Windows


My eight tagged:

1. Mama's Little Chick

2. Mama's Pixie Dreams

3. Kerri's Clutter

4. Just Another Mom of 2

5. Brown Eyed Girl's Ramblings

6. tales from the sippy cup

7. Running Away? I'll help you pack

8. If The Crown Fits

My Questions:

1. What size shoe do you wear?

2. Would you ever shop at Goodwill?

3. How many tv's do you have in your house? Are any in the kid's rooms?

4. Do you like brussel sprouts?

5. Have you ever visited another country?

6. Have you ever shot a gun?

7. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

8. What is your favorite season?

TAG YOU'RE IT!!!