Wednesday, February 2, 2011

PYHO: Hold the Glass, Give me the Bottle

Thank you Shell for creating this meme. It's easier to open
my heart when I know that I'm not the only one pouring it
out and spilling my soul on the blogsosphere today.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

Do you know what it's like to be a 10 year old shy kid who invites a dozen girls to your birthday party and only two people show up? And then at your own party you become the third wheel. Then many years later as a grown up you throw a candle party and one of your close friends come? Two of the others say "yes I'll be there" but then you see their Facebook update and they're going out for the night with friends. It sucks.

You should be able to grow up and not harbor those inadequate feelings from your childhood but it's pretty hard. Experiencing being the wallflower, the kid who got ignored at slumber parties or picked on makes you very reserved. You make sure that you don't put yourself in situations that will make you feel like that kid again. But will you ever learn.

I had been wanting to have a girls night with some friends. The hubs said I deserved a night without the kids ad he was more than willing to be sole parent for a night. I planned a girls night at my house to have dinner and play cards. It was going to be a potluck meal with me preparing the main dish. I called my best friend and she was more than willing to come and she would ask her friend J to come along too. I asked two other friends to come and one said sure thing and another one hemmed and hawed. She wouldn't give me a definite answer and when I decided to ask a few more of my girlfriends I realized that they were all going to another event (that I had decided not to pay to go to this year). So I was down to four girls including myself.

Then a day before my best friend tells me that her friend J won't be able to make it. Bummer. Not it was down three. It was falling apart. I called my friend who wouldn't give me a yes or no and tried my best to convince her to come. The problem for her: no sitter and hubby was working and wasn't getting home until at least 3-4 hours after my party was to start.

Saturday morning, the day of the GNO I decided to cancel it. It was going to be a bust and I figured I would just reschedule it for another weekend. I had already purchased my main course and the hubs was slow cooking it in the crock pot. I called my best friend and asked if we could just have a combined family dinner with her kids and mine. It was a date. I wasn't feeling too bad about not having my girls night. Until later.

If you tell some one that you cannot go to their event and you change your plans and go with some one else with your said husband who was working, don't post it on Facebook. And if you do, expect everyone, including the person you said no to, to read it.

That is exactly what happened. I was mortified! My husband was checking FB and told me what my friend wrote as her status. I could not believe that my friend did this to me. I could have let bygones be bygones and learned from this lesson, but nope I was pissed and hurt. Why is that people feel the need to stomp on me? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn from this but I know that I will not let things other people do tear me down.


Rose said...

it's difficult when we plan an event and it goes down the tube. no matter what i still think it's important to reach out to people yet remberisuues about their personality. take care rose

Dysfunctional Mom said...

I don't know how that could be taken as anything BUT a slap in the face. That was so rude and thoughtful! If I lived near you I'd have come. Promise!

Dysfunctional Mom said...

Um, thoughtless. Obviously. Duh!

singedwingangel said...

I would have come in a heartbeat if I lived closer. I hear you on rude friends.. I have a few of those myself. I would call her on it period and see what she does when she is busted.

Angie said...

How mean. Did you call her out? I would have totally commented.

I would have come! I need a girls night out (and some friends!!)

We 2 Bees said...

How rude!! It's sad that people have turned into this, and like you said think NOTHING of what they post on FB, or maybe they do and it just gives them an easier way to be rude. But honesty seems to have flown right out the window. If she didn't want to come, just be honest! Sad that people have to be reminded to be honest. I'm so sorry that people have hurt you. I'd have come too if I lived closer!

MsBabyPlan said...

Oh Tiffany I am so sorry for this episode.

If it can be a comfort, I was just in your situation few weeks ago, when no-one turned up at my leaving do which was joint with my husband work colleagues. I felt like a loser at the dinner table because I didn't have anyone to say they are going to miss me once out of London.

I was sad but I already knew how they are :(!

I would have come too! That's the reason I feel like I am making good friends on the blog - sometimes real-life friends can be a let down!

Shell said...

Oh, that's so hurtful. I wish people would just be honest- even if their honesty would hurt, it wouldn't be as bad as deception.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I was that kid growing up and every time I think of planning something with friends I worry so much that they won't come that I just don't plan anything. What your friend did was mean and I think you should say something to her. She at least needs to know that you know she's been caught.

Kim said...

It's hard to do but you need to remember that the thoughtlessness has nothing to do with you. People need to be honest and kind. If they really didn't want to go to your function then they should have told you.

Anonymous said...

Oh Tiff, I'm so sorry. That was rude, no doubt about it. It makes me so mad grown women still act like this. They are worse as they get older too. She should never have posted it. She should never have lied to you. I agree I think you should call her on it. Tell her how it made you feel. Email her. You know I'd have been there if I lived close to you. xoxo