Monday, January 10, 2011

A place in my heart

Do you ever wonder who your "real" friends are? I don't think about it too much because it might be just a waste of time. I have had a few recent incidents that gave me reason to reflect on this subject. My sister in law is turning 30 this month and I wanted to make sure the day was celebrated with friends. When I turned 30 four years ago she threw me a party at her house which really was special for me. She invited a few a my friends and several of her friends. I thought the least I could do was try and give her the same kind of thing.
I called her husband about what he had planned and pretty much as far as he had gotten was getting a sitter and going to dinner. I was hoping to keep my ideas a secret but he spoke to her about it. So she and I exchanged some text messages about ideas and she wasn't sure our friends would come. I asked her why not and she said they didn't come to her party last year. I told her " you plan the party, invite them and if they don't come, then eff em." (MY exact words) I told her that they have done the same crap to me. But when the tables are turned and they invite us to something they EXPECT us to show up. And if we don't we get the guilt trip. Friends don't treat friends like that.
I have come to realize, well.. I've known this for awhile...they are not TRUE friends. It really doesn't matter to me anymore. Years ago I would have wept that these people didn't like me and I was lonely and would have done anything to hang with them. Not anymore. I don't have time to waste on petty crap. I think when I met these "friends" that they were different people or at least I thought they were different people and since the years have gone by I have grown apart from them.
It's like that poem..Friends for a reason, a season, a lifetime a year. You know the one? They were stepping stones. They were there when I needed them and they needed me. I have found many more friends and great people from being friends with them. I would not have met two of my best friends if I had not met them. It was meant to be. It's funny how things like that happen.
I have found some real friends through the paths and relationships with other friends. The old friends will not be forgotten, for they will always have a place in my heart, just not on the top anymore.


Shell said...

Those people aren't worth the effort. It's amazing to me how many people seem like real friends but are really just friends when it is convenient for them.

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree with you more girl. I have been through some rough times with so called friends and you know, it's only made me stronger and given me the ability to know who my true friends are. xoxo

Casey said...

I was going to say what Shell said!

I hope you are doing ok. I am so sorry I have been a bad blog friend