The laundry is only the tip of the iceberg. The lack of motivation is spilling over into other areas as well. My dusting in the house. The filing of papers. My coupon cutting. I am becoming so overwhelmed with the unfinished work that I don't know where to start. This behavior is so unlike me that it is really aggravating me.
I feel like a failure. In my own mind I'm failing at something. I'm not sure what anyone else thinks, because the only ones witnessing this are the kids and my husband. My husband is not a neat freak, so it's not going to bother him. Miss K follows in her dad's footsteps so she is not fazed by it. And Little E, he's not really old enough to realize how OCD I am.
The bigger issue I have with not finishing the regular day to day chores is, that I can't even justify starting on other chores that have manifested through out this. The season have changed, both kids have outgrown some clothes and I need to get the excess stuff out of their rooms. It's piling up. My garage looks like the beginnings of Hoarders. Seriously. It's scary.
The pressure of all this is taking a toll on my personality and I lashed out at my husband about it. So many of our weekends have been compromised by other events that I have no spare time to catch up. Some have been for pleasure. Thanks to Spring Break. Some have been due to family emergencies. Which you can't blame.
I need more time!
I need another me!
I need to let go and stop beating myself up.
How do you tell a perfectionist, obsessive compulsive, clean freak that it's ok that the dogs haven't been bathed and seriously need it, the dust behind the tv's will be ok for another week and that no body cares that you have three weeks of three Sunday newspapers sitting on your front porch. At least I live on a dirt road.
And if you only knew the rest.