Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Writer's Workshop

Inspired by Mama Kat's Losin It, I am linking up Writer's Workshop.

For this week's writer's workshop, I chose prompt #5 What's so good about it? Write an interesting poem or piece of writing where the last two words of the writing are 'good-bye' (inspired by writingfix.com)

It was a secret that she dared to share with no one. She had no idea what she was going to do. She didn't dare tell another person for fear of repercussion. She removed the thoughts from her head and continued on with life as she knew it before it happened.
Then it became harder to deal with. She was physically sweating and sick most of the time and mentally sweating through the predicament she was in. Trying to hide her sickness was the easy part but hiding herself wasn't. Time was starting to wear out.
She was mentally separating herself from what she was dealing with. She pushed the thoughts from her head when she tried to reason about it. The days continued on and her thoughts began to change when she felt the flutters.
How would she deal with this alone? She couldn't tell anyone. They would be mad. They wouldn't understand. Where would she go? What was she thinking? Was she thinking?
Trying to cover it up everyday was getting harder. Her face was starting to look swollen. Her mother questioned her about her appearance. She made up lies about it. There was nothing wrong with her. She would still not tell her secret under any circumstances.
Then on Halloween weekend she went out with her boyfriend, her brother and his wife. She didn't feel well and was in a lot of pain. The pain continued through the next day and it was unbearable. She felt like her insides were coming out. What was happening? This went on for several hours and her mother was bombarding her with questions. She finally told her mom that she was pregnant.
Without another word her mother loaded her into the car and drove her to the emergency room. It was a silent car ride except for the whimpers and moans due to the pain. She couldn't take the pain sitting in the waiting room.
The nurses led her to an exam room. She had never dealt with such pain and screamed her lungs out. They gave her no medication to ease the pain and it was unbearable compared to what she went through hours before. The nurses called out for a cart and neo natal tray. The baby was coming and it was a blur. An hour after entering the exam room she delivered a 1lb baby boy. He was lifeless and her mother decided it was best that she not see him. He was about 6 months gestational according to his size and he had been lifeless for several days.
After the birth was over a preacher visited her room. She kept her eyes closed and faked being asleep from the pain. She heard her mother say to the preacher " it was a blessing in disguise". She was right about not telling anyone. They would have never understood.
She left the hospital alone in her mind. She left the hospital empty. She left her son there without seeing his face or body. She said
"good bye".
Mama's Losin' It




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11 comments:

Karo said...

That is a powerful piece of writing... I left the hospital without seeing one of my babies, so this hit home. Glad I found your blog through Mama Kat.

Tylaine said...

Wow this was a great story! Was thia something that actually happened?.....I can't even imagine the heartache of leaving a child.

Anonymous said...

Visiting over from Mama Kat's and I'm so glad this was the first piece I clicked on. It was so beautiful and so powerful. I can't imagine this being written by someone who never felt that sort of pain, but I pray that this is just a story and not a story that happened in your life. This is one of the most beautiful pieces I've read.

Shelby said...

That was pretty amazing.
I'm a follower so I clicked over and I'm pretty wow'd by this piece of writing. Thanks for referring me to Mama Kat's workshop. I think I'll check hers out.

KatBouska said...

Oh this is heart breaking!!! So sorry this happened...to whoever.

Jennifer said...

I have no words.

Shell said...

Wow, very powerful and heartbreaking.

Mary Catherine said...

This is one of your best! It is so powerful!

I'm stopping over from SITS! and I am your newest follower!

marycatherine
http://stylishsavinginthecapitaldistrict.blogspot.com/

Alexandra said...

Hi! Following here through SITS.

Love it, great ideas. WOnderful writing voice here.

I've beenlucky this morning, the 2 blogs above my name, I really like.

I'll be back, and very nice job here.

Anonymous said...

Wow... very emotional and moving.

Dianna@The Kennedy Adventures said...

a heartbreaking post, very powerful, and beautifully written. My heart goes out to the girl in the story.