Thursday, March 3, 2011

Writer's Workshop-Inspire

4.) What inspired you this week?

a~my two beautiful blessings

The desire to change my attitude and outlook on life is different. I decided that I didn't want to be dependent on medicine anymore, for many reasons. Not just because the side effects have been a pain in the rear or almost worse than what good they are doing for me, but because I am tired of feeling like I'm in a cloud sitting with a happy face on. I couldn't wait for my three month check up to come fast enough so I weaned myself off one of the anti-depressants myself.
My doctor visit was this morning and the visit went like it always has and then I dropped the bomb on my doc. I told him I wanted to stop the meds. He wasn't shocked like I was worried that would happen. He was very reassuring and glad that my self removal of one went well and I was handling the stress fine. He said it would be very easy to stop taking the other and it about twelve days I will be medicine free.
I know that being without the medicine, some of my issues can and possibly will resurface and I am seeking a counselor to work through my issues. I'm not scared and extremely excited about this new step in a new direction of controlling my life.
I want to be the new me that I seek. The person who can handle stressful situations with a level head and not blow things out of proportion. I want to be able to enjoy the things in life and learn to control my OCP ( Obsessive Controling Personality) and channel that obsessive in a more positive way. I am tired of suppressing that part of me. It is who I am. I am not expecting a miracle and this will not come over night but I'm headed in the right direction. I know that God is on my side and I have faith that he is leading me there.

This post was inspired by Mama Kat's Weekly Writer's Workshop.

Mama’s Losin’ It

I also decided that this was something I wanted to Pour my Heart Out about, since I shared my doubts about being on meds back on a previous PYHO. Thank you to all of you who were understanding and sincere about my choice.


June Freaking Cleaver said...

You go, girl! But remember, it is not defeat if you ever need to return to medication in the future.

I've been 'happy pill-free' for over three years.

Lindsey V said...

Praying for you now that you will find courage and strength in God as you take these steps! Rooting for you!

Erin said...

You are inspiring! Good for you to take yourself to the point of not needing or wanting the meds.

You'll do great!!

carina said...

Good for you! I remember when I decided to stop taking antidepressants - I was so worried that I would slip back down into "the pit" as I called it. I went to my counselor regularly and never regretted my decision. That was six years ago and I haven't looked back! Thanks for sharing your story - it takes courage.

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

That's great you are moving in the right direction and getting off the meds. God is able and can help you through!

Stopping by from writer's workshop. Here's ours:

Renegades said...

I've been off meds and now am on them again for OCD and anxiety. I think the important thing to remember is if you should need the meds again listen to your body and don't look at it as defeat.

Good luck!

Carrie said...

Good luck with going off your meds. I think many doctors are nearly as supportive of people who want to take charge of their lives.

I'm glad yours was.

Visiting from Mama Kat's

Stacey said...

Your children are beautiful. And if ever there were people to inspire you, it's definitely them. My sister has OCD and weaned off her meds in college. She has successfully learned to deal with her OCD. It can be done! I wish you the best of luck!

Shell said...

I hope that it all goes smoothly for you! YAY!

Oddly enough, this morning I was considering making an appointment to go ON meds.

Crinthia Megan said...

Congrats! I think I need to go on meds. Like you I have an obsessive control issue ( I do believe) if things don't go a certain way, I just get so bummed out.. my fiance even told me if I didn't get on meds soon he was going to leave me :/ I obsess over everything. Maybe I should see a doctor LOL I am stopping by from Mama Kat's Workshop :)