Our daughter is my social butterfly. She's quite the talker if you're willing to listen. I can't blame her because it runs in the family. She's just taking after her mother, grandmother and great grandmother. She's a diva when it comes to her clothes and jewelry and can't resist sparkles and jewels. But she is not afraid to get dirty either when it comes to catching frogs and lizards. She's got a soft spot for any animal and wants to bring home any stray she can find
Our son is such a little ham. He stole my heart the day he was born and hasn't given it back. He is easy going, tender hearted and quite the thinker. He loves to try and "help" you, whether it's dusting, doing the laundry or changing batteries in one of the toys. He loves trucks, cars, buses, airplanes, trains, pretty much anything that moves and has an engine. He'll stop whatever he's doing if he sees anyone of them and show me.
I woke up feeling like the world was closing in on me. I blame it partly on the fact that I stopped taking my anti depressants a few weeks ago. It's been tough and I had my first appointment a week and half ago with my psychologist. I am looking forward to my next appointment on April 1st. I have been using the "exercises" she suggested to calm myself but it's been hard. I have been suppressing my feelings again and I am finding it harder to find some one to talk to in the meantime. Only a handful of my friends outside of the blog know my situation and I have only been able to talk to one of them lately. So it makes it hard to be able to get it off my chest. I hate feeling inadequate. I have struggled with self acceptance for years and I am my worst enemy. I don't like to hide who I am to other people, because if I knew that they would accept me as who I really am, then I would show them the real me. But I don't think they could handle the real me. I a neurotic person with an Obsessive Compulsive Personality who likes to control every situation. I am a pessimist. I always see life without rainbows and sunshiny faces. I will find the bad in most situations and who wants to hear that? I am just being practical. I would rather set myself up for the worst to happen and if it doesn't then I wasn't let down. Does that make sense? I want to be liked. I am a good person who knows how to love. Just because I am not a cookie cutter personality does not make me bad. We're all different. Why can't any one understand that? We're supposed to love each other. I feel like I have to try harder than most to keep relationships with girl friends. If I could just be who I am.....