Wednesday, November 30, 2011

PYHO: Hanging on by a Thread

I'll eventually get to writing about why I've been on hiatus for about four weeks, but today something bigger is on my heart. I've been struggling with my youngest, Little E with his behavior. I partly blame myself for being a softie and letting him get his way. I admit it, I have coddled him way, WAY too long. And now it's biting me in the butt.

I also blame the behavior on preschool and the fact that he's four years old. I thought the three's were bad, but now that I look back at Miss K's year of four, she was a tough cookie too.

It didn't start over night. And it's not like his attitude change didn't happen on his birthday back in July. It has gradually gotten worse and my threshold for his badness has reached "the level".

Little E was always a sweet, kind little boy and reflected that behavior when he used to go to daycare.We never had any problems with him.Then before turning three I pulled him out and he stayed home with me. To prepare him for school next year, I placed him in VPK at a really nice montessori  based daycare/preschool. Since then he has complained about other boys treating him unfairly and excluding him.The teachers have not complained about him being bad to anyone at school, but who knows.

The problem: he's trying to befriend the wrong kids. The bullies, the "pretty boys", the rough kids. I can't choose his friends but when he starts reflecting their behavior at home, something has to give.

We've all heard the saying boys will be boys but that doesn't mean it's okay to come home and smack your sister because she won't give you what she has in her hands. And it doesn't mean when you don't get your way with mommy that you go to your room and kick the wall for ten minutes.

Dealing with the way he's been acting, doesn't make trying to get him to eat "big people" food any easier. I finally pout my foot down recently and will not cook him his own meal of either, chicken nuggets, hot dogs, fish sticks or mac and cheese anymore. He has to eat what we eat for dinner. We're on day five today and it's been awful to say the least.

I'm hoping this is just a phase and we grow out of it. Of course, he may grow out of it but I know we won't successfully make it unless I keep up with punishments and time outs.I'm open to suggestions from moms of boys who survived or are surviving the younger years.


Kristen said...

As you know, I have two girls but one of them will not eat anything but kid food. I had to put my foot down too and it was really rough and there were plenty of battles for almost a month when I finally broke her of her kid food habit. I finally came to a solution that works for us. I make two dinners in the week that contain kid food of some sort. The other five days...she is going to eat what the rest of us do or she doesn't kid to enjoy the two kid food days while everyone else does.
Hang in there! I know it seems as they get older things should get easier but the problems just shift to other things that go with that age. I'm here if you need me! xo

crazykindofmom said...

That's a good idea with the dinners. With my daughter it was much easier transitioning her to adult meals because she was willing to at least take one bite of each item. Little E flat out refuses, cries, wails, gags and even throws up the food if he is forced to take a bite. It's quite stressful. I dislike bribery but I have even tried that and it failed too. I'm not giving up, thank you for the support. xoxo

Where is the me in mommy said...

Oh goodness ... I'm with you on letting bad behavior go too long.  Sometimes, though, as a SAHM it's hard to be consistent.  In fact, it's exhausting to be consistent.  But then it does come back and take a healthy chomp out of my ample butt and I re-commit to being consistent (at least until the next time I'm too tired to fight every battle ...)  {{HUGS}}

shellthings said...

I wish I had an answer. 

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

Parenting is so hard.  I think you are doing the right thing with the meals.  I started that with my own kids.  I do compromise and cook something I know they like once or twice a week, since they are part of the family, too, but the rest of the time, they have to eat what I cook!

Missy | The Literal Mom said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  4 nearly broke me as a human being.  Hardest age so far.