Tuesday, March 6, 2012

PYHO: Dance Mom




Life as a dance mom has it's moments. The mundane trips back on forth to the studio. Sitting for hours in the viewing room watching your child through the glass. Dressing your child for class, getting the perfect bun. Competition weekends, the stress of accomplishing make up, hair, costume and lunch in less than an hour. Watching your child get criticized because she screwed up her step more than five times in a row. Then listening to the stories from the dance moms you have befriended.

There is so much more in between but I've given you a brief idea of what goes in in our dance life. Mine as the mom. Miss K as the dancer. You'd think I'd throw up my hands in defeat and walk out of the studio and not look back. But there's always a silver lining. 

She loves to dance and I sacrifice my time to make that happen for her.

Our first year at this studio I only knew two other moms and the underlying drama never affected me. I kept to myself and watched my daughter practice. Now that this is our third year and Miss K is on the competition/ performance team we know a lot of the moms. 

Miss K has made friends with her classmates and team mates, naturally. I've become friends and acquaintances  with several of the moms of her team mates. The one thing I've learned in life, from my own mistakes, you keep your mouth shut. You can be a better friend to some one if you don't gossip. 

Yesterday one of the moms told me that her daughter was criticized by of one the team mates about her technique on a tap step. I was surprised and looked in on the class and didn't have a clue about which girl would do that. She asked me if Miss K would do that. I know my daughter and she is a friend to everyone. She does not discriminate. I told her no way, K is a type A leader personality, but she is not mean.

Today in the competition class, during practice for this weekend's performance, the same mom was sitting next to me watching the girls run through the dance. The instructor had changed part of their dance and her daughter messed up something. The girl next to her, stops in the middle of tapping and walks over to the instructor. I was like what the heck?

The mom says to me "she's calling her out. I can't believe that. she's tattling on L". I looked at the mom and we shared the look.  I knew right then that the girl that just tattled on her daughter was the same one who made fun of her the day before. I was shocked. 

Shocked.

I was very shocked since we spent the weekend with that girl and her mom two weekends ago at the FDM Competition in Coral Springs. We shared a hotel room with them and I would have never guessed her to be so mean. 

That meanness can drive a wedge between girls who should be team mates.  

This realization makes me look at this girl in a different light. Sadly. I will not breathe a word of this to any of the other moms or my daughter, but it's one of those things that will be filed in my brain. You have to watch out for your back and your child. 

But I don't want to remove the sparkles from my little girls world. She LOVES to dance and enjoys it.   
Life as a dance mom for us is nothing like you see on tv. At least not our studio.

18 comments:

Jamie said...

So sad that competition and jealousy starts so young :( I hope that young girl will learn down the road. 

Kristen M said...

ugh. sometimes you think that stuff is just on tv - but obviously.. not. How cruel.  xo to your little dancing girl. 

Kristen said...

It is so hard to walk that fine line of knowing the information but not sharing it through gossip. I've learned that it is easier to watch my back and my girls' backs now that I really see what kids can be like. I always try to see the best in people and sometimes that means I skip over the bad qualities. That is when one of us usually gets hurt. Now, I sit back and observe and do my best to let the girls have fun while I try to keep them from the "meanies". ;-)

CrazyKindofMom said...

I hope she realizes that you shouldn't treat others that way. I know she wouldn't like it.

CrazyKindofMom said...

Sadly, some of what you see on tv really does happen in the studios.

CrazyKindofMom said...

It is very thin line between staying neutral and get involved in what goes on behind the studio walls. I used to like keeping to myself and not conversing with the other moms, but I have found that it's better to be a "friend" and know what's going on but not overstep the boundary.  I will not encourage her to be a "meanie" even if that little girl calls her out the next time, but I will have to say something to her mother. And keep it civil.

Diana said...

Having grown up in the gymnastics world I know all the craziness of the kids and the moms. The kids that truly love it though can block it out and just focus on what they enjoy!

shellthings said...

Glad it's not like what it looks like on tv. ;) 

Seems like any time you put a bunch of kids and parents together, there's going to be something going on- not huge drama, but underlying.

Deb said...

Kids can be downright mean to each other sometimes...good luck to your dancing girl!

Adrienne said...

Unfortunately, mean girls are everywhere, not just the dance studio. It's too bad. Thankfully, your daughter has a great role model in you! :)

Queen Bee said...

Mean people suck! It's amazing was kids do and say to other kids. Many times not even realizing what they are doing is hurtful.  I love that Miss K loves to dance. She is beautiful! Thanks for sharing the pictures!

CrazyKindofMom said...

You are right about that. I asked Miss K if anyone has bothered her abut her abilities (other than the instructor) and she told me no. She concentrates on herself more than what the other kids are worrying about.
I'm so proud of her.

CrazyKindofMom said...

 Yes, there can be drama. You have to learn when to step in and when not to. ;o)
Funny thing is, we are signing up for a competition next month and on the website of the company that holds them states "Dance Moms The Show will not be permitted to videotape at any of their competitions. Ha!

CrazyKindofMom said...

Thank you! As if kids don't have enough of their own issues to deal with!!

CrazyKindofMom said...

Sadly that is so true and I can't shelter her from the mean ones, just take those experiences as learning lessons.
Thank you Adrienne! 

CrazyKindofMom said...

Mean people need more love. :) I wonder if that little girl realized how much she hurt the other girls feelings. The girl she spoke about is such a sweet girl. She is so friendly and Miss K and she are good friends.
Awww, thank you! 

Making It Work Mom said...

So sad. I wish our girls could just support each other without all the drama.

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