Tuesday, August 31, 2010

What boys are made of....

Lately being with Little E has been pretty comical. I think because for six hours a day he is solely with me and doesn't have to share my attention with his sister. I am sure I have noticed his personality because he doesn't go to daycare and we're hanging out 24/7. Today he had me in stitches several times. He's pretty nosy and likes to dig through stuff that doesn't belong to him. He has been told by grandma to stay out of her desk at work. But as usual he can't keep his hands to himself and has to look in her desk. I guess he's looking for candy or snacks. Which I am sure of today because after a special request for eggs and toes (toast) he refused to finish it.
I was not at work for more than 15 minutes and he comes up to me and says "mommy, did you bring me any popcorn?"
Me: "nope, sorry baby." He cocks his head and holds out a blue bowl. "but mommy, I need popcorn in my bowl so I can watch a movie. Can you get some?"
Me: "I can't honey. I'll call grandma and see if she'll bring some."
"Okay mommy"Soon after my phone call to my mother he goes missing again and comes out with a green plastic bowl. My dad gets on to him for digging through grandma's stuff and tells Little E that grandma is going to whoop him. He hides behind a desk and waits until my dad leaves the sales area and goes to the service department.
Little E comes out from behind the desk and looks pretty sad with his pouty lip and close to tears. "Why's grandma gonna whoop me mommy? Whad I do?"
Me, trying not to smile: "You shouldn't be digging through her stuff sweetie. Put those bowls away."

After Miss K's dance class this afternoon/evening we were heading home. I was on the phone and Little E starts interrupting me. I couldn;t comprehend what he was saying. After hanging up he says to me " my foot".
Me: "what?"
E: "my foot itches"
I look in the concave mirror that allows me to view the backseats and see his sock and shoe removed foot sticking up towards my chair. eww.
Me: "I am not scratching your foot. You scratch it."
E: "No! My foot itched, I scratched it. Can you kiss it?"
Me: " No way! Honey, I love you to death but I am not kissing that sweaty little foot."
I could not stop laughing. I just can't kiss all the boo boos. I have to draw the line somewhere.

This evening before bed Little E finds a tiny beetle in the house. He proceeds to take it to bed with him and requests something to keep it in. Daddy provided him with a plastic container with a lid. About 15 minutes after being tucked in he starts calling me. "mommy! mooommmmmyyy!"
I go in to find out what the situation is."mommy, where's my beetle?"
I walk farther into his room and see the lid on the floor and no container in sight. I half figured I would find the bug dead in the the container on the morning. Guess I'll find a dead bug in the bed in the morning now. Gotta love boys. You never know what's going to happen next.

PINT: Inside my 12 Hours

This is the last week of PINT with
Supah Mommy. So if you have never linked up before
why not?
Let's make history and show some bloggy love and
make it a fabulous farewell to the lady
who made Tuesday a little yellow sticky note day.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Writer's Workshop:Rinse and Repeat

This week I am linking up with Mama Kat and doing some Writer's Workshop. I love this meme. When my creative juices are not flowing I love picking one of her prompts and going with it. This week #4 caught my eye.
Prompt #4
4.) Can it be saved? Think of something that is ruined when it’s totally wet: like a newspaper or a piece of cheese. Write a scene (truth or fiction) that involves you and a soaked item.
(inspired by writingfix.com)

I found this amazing recipe with chicken, mushrooms, wine and a few other various ingredients that I wanted to try to make. My husband loves mushrooms and I showed him the delicious idea I was thinking and he was salivating at the thought of a yummy mushroom meal. Unfortunately I tried waiting until mushrooms were on sale before attempting this recipe. When I finally bought the earth grown, dirty little fungus' I had planned out a perfect weekly menu. But a perfectly set up menu doesn't mean a load of crap when your week gets all jacked up. Several crazy evenings of grabbing dinner on the go and making quick dinners of mac and cheese my mushrooms sat and waited.
I finally decided a week later that I was going to make this special dish for my husband. I pulled out my dirty little white, eerrr gray colored earth fungus and set them out. Like I always do with my vegetables and fruits I was going to wash the dirt or pesticides from them. They appeared to be border line on going bad but I figured a good bath would fix that. I took out my colander and dumped both containers in. I turned on the water and washed them vigorously to remove a few traces of slimyness. I let them soak in the water for a few moments and started browning my chicken.
When it came time to drop in the mushrooms for cooking they just didn't seem quite right. I browned them as I normally would adding my garlic then the white wine and the recipe required cooking them until all the liquid was gone. Well I was cooking and cooking and cooking. This went on for quite some time. What was wrong with my mushrooms? I turned up the heat and thought maybe higher heat would do the trick. Not the case. I gave up and removed my skillet from the stove top.
I turned on my computer and googled mushrooms. I searched prep and care of mushrooms. It says that you should quickly rinse, pat dry and use immediately. Oh great! I ruined them with the water bath!! So needless to say my recipe was a bust. Those mushrooms had taken on so much water like sponges that they pretty much cooked to mush.
I cannot remember what my back up meal plan was but I'm sure it involved a delivery driver and some garlic bread. Those little fungus'!!

Mama's Losin' It

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out: Broken Silence

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)

When it rains it pours. I had originally decided that I wasn't going to blog about what happened between my husband and I a few weeks ago but it has come to a head. I have to pour this out on paper or via blogging because there comes a time when things shall be known. I need moral support and a sense of peace about it.
A few weeks ago my husband walked out on me. It had been a long rough week for me since I was busy with Vacation Bible School every evening. My husband had the responsibility of picking up Little E from me and taking him home for dinner, bath and bed. The last night of VBS all the parents were invited to share the events with their child and Miss K wanted her daddy with her. On my way to the church my husband calls me and and tells me he is "too tired. he has had a long day and just wants to go home."
I was crushed. Little E was looking forward to staying with his sister and without their dad there it wouldn't be possible. I took it pretty hard and got very upset about it. Stressed and not in the mood to deal with it I told my husband to "just go. Go home then." He left.
But I didn't let it go at that. I was shocked that he actually just left me there to watch Little E and run my lesson with 30 other children. I started texting him and it wasn't very nice. We exchanged nasty words and then I got busy for the evening with my lesson. At then end of the night I tried texting him again. No answer.

I tried calling his cell phone. No answer.

I tried calling the house phone. No answer.. I texted him several more times. Nothing. The pit of my stomach dropped. Something wasn't right. Fear took over and I gathered the kids and headed home. Several more phone calls were made the drive home and I couldn't get there fast enough. Pulling up my road I saw that my husband's car was gone. I was terrified to walk into the house but not to alarm the kids I left them in the van with a DVD playing.
I was left a note. The note in so many words explained that he had had enough of my crap, that this was the last straw and he was NOT coming back. That our relationship was not healthy and that I should not try to contact him. He said I would not find him and that he was ok.
I fell to the floor sobbing. I was in complete utter shock!!

One argument and he leaves? We had worse fights than that and he walks out?! He walks away from me and our kids?! A note! A DEAR JOHN LETTER!
In my desperate moment I called my mom. I guess I was thinking like a child and hoped that my mom could fix this. She couldn't believe my words. She couldn't comprehend what I was saying between the sobs and the whining. She said to try and stay calm and she would be right there. Of course this was nothing that my mom could fix and later I realize that calling mom wasn't the best idea but when you're in complete shock you don't think clearly.

During the time it took her to get there I had time to collect my thoughts and reread the note. I looked around the house to see what he had packed and tried to calm myself. I knew that I had to remain calm and be strong for the kids. At this point, they were more important. They are one of the main reasons I function daily and letting them in on what was going on was not going to happen.So I followed the regular routine of baths and bed for the kids and my mom arrived.

I tried to make light of the reason she was there and kept up with my calm demeanor. She tried to convince me to pack up some belongings and bring the kids to her house. I wasn't going any where until he came back. My husband had not packed any clothes for work and I knew he had to be home by Sunday evening to be ready for work Monday morning. I was going to be there to face him head on when he got back. He may have walked out while I was gone but he was going to face me ready or not.

The weekend was a blur.

My close and dear friends were the best moral support and I am thankful that God placed them in my life. If I had not had those two ladies to advise me, guide me and let me cry on their shoulders I may have not made it. I did my best to compose my moods in front of the kids and telling them that daddy was with friends for the weekend. It was easy to say that because he has gone on fishing/hunting trips that keep him away for a few days. I tried to get information from his parents but they were like dead ends. Not giving me much to go on other than that they didn't want to get in the middle of it and that he needed time to cool off and think about things.

I had plenty of time to think about things myself and pray to God. I was at one of my lowest points in my life and I needed him to give me guidance and answers. I was giving myself to him and was leaving it in his will. I asked for strength to stay composed and not lose sight of what I wanted, I asked for faith that if it didn't go well that God would be there and I prayed for forgiveness. I realized that I had tried to control my husband for too long and now I had no control. I could not control this situation and that every fiber of my being was being tested.

Sunday morning I took my children to my mother's house so they would not be there during our confrontation. Since our last text conversation my husband had said to leave him alone and until that morning I had done just that. My patience was withering so I texted him and told him that as his wife, I deserved to know when he would be back that day. That this had gone on long enough and that he needed to come home and face his problem.

While I was gone settling the kids in at my mom's house he came home. I pulled in to my driveway and saw him standing there. All weekend I battled with how I was going to approach him. My controlling side wanted me to scream at him but my practical side told me to calmly deal with it and listen to him. Which is exactly what I did. I held back tears and standing in his presence I felt empty. My husband who usually makes me feel complete was not filling that hole in my heart.
He explained why he needed to leave, that if he had stayed and tried to work it out that nothing would have been accomplished. That we would have yelled, screamed and nothing would have been resolved. That by me trying yet once again to control him was the final straw. He felt that our relationship had fallen apart and that the only thing keeping us together was the children. He confessed that he had been feeling this way for quite some time and it had been building. He was still unsure of where he wanted to go. He wasn't prepared for me to react so calmly and thought I was going to go into a tirade and it would have just ended.

I grew up that weekend. I knew that if anything was going to work I was going to have to learn to be open minded. I was going to have to let go of my need to always control situations and learn to let go. I am in no way taking all the blame because I was not the one who walked away. I still don't fully understand why he had to walk out but he says that was the only way he could make me see that I can't control everything. We have both been working through this one day at a time.

My husband has learned that he needs to communicate with me. Communication is a key factor in a relationship and if you can't tell the other person how you feel then it's going to fall apart. His opening up his feelings is slow going and I am more patient with his timidness in admitting when I am doing something that he doesn't agree with. We are discussing problems instead of arguing about them. One day at a time.

I have been tentative about discussing this openly since only a handful of people know what went on that weekend. I am embarrassed about the fact that my husband walked out. Embarrassed to admit that my marriage is not perfect. Embarrassed to admit that I have faults that I do not like about myself and have a hard time changing: control issues, jealousy, and anger. But I believe that by openly admitting my faults I can let go of them and grow.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

GTKY: Better late than Never

Sniffle, sniffle, achew!
So I am running late on my GTKY this weekend because I am still fighting
this cold. I got up at 10:00am, missed church and turned on my computer
BUT I was soo exhausted that
I went back to bed for the rest of the day.
I liked this week's questions a lot so here we go

Getting to know YOU

The Q's.

1. If you could host a Reality TV show, which one would it be? I would love to host the Amazing Race. I twould be so awesome to travel to each of those countries and see the world. But Phil would have to be with me, I love that guy!

2. Do you put your seatbelt on before or after you start the car? Before. Except when I pre start the car for the kids in this summer heat.

3. Shave or hair removal cream? shave cream with my trusty disposable razors

4. What's your favorite feature in a house? a large kitchen, which my current house does not have. Next house WILL have a BIG kitchen. I love to cook and I need room to create.

5. What is your favorite "Fall" scent? pumpkin spice, cold, crisp air, pine cones, apple pies, what fall scent doesn't smell good. mmmm. I can't wait!

6. What tv show are you looking forward to seeing the most this Fall?? Grey's Anatomy, Mercy and The V !! Come on prime time tv

7. Personal Shopper or Personal Chef? personal shopper! I hate to clothing shop for myself, it's such a chore and taking any children to do this task makes it that much worse. I like to cook so I would not give that up.

8. What is the first word that comes to mind when you think of "Fall"? Pumpkins!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Friday Fragments:FF

Mommy's Idea

Little E bit a hole on either side of his tongue while throwing a tantrum about his dinner on Wednesday evening. Jumping up and down on his step stool at the kitchen counter it flipped and his chin smacked the counter and his teeth chomped his tongue. I wasn't sure what was hurt but there was lots of tears and plenty of blood. After calming him down I looked in his mouth and found two holes on both sides of his tongue where his teeth pierced through. Hopefully next time he disagrees with my choice in his dinner he won't pitch a fit!

I finally have figured out the perfect time to get to the school and get in line at Parent Pick Up. It's crazy but I have to arrive at the school by 1:40pm even though the school bell rings at 2:05pm to release the kids. I hope that after a few weeks it will calm down and I can not stress out about it.

I miss summer vacation so much! This first week back has been a major adjustment for me. I am so tired and adjusting to this busy schedule is wearing me out! I was so tired today that when I went to clean the windows on my van I thought I grabbed the aerosol window spray. I sprayed the windshield and couldn't understand why it was so greasy and I kept rubbing and rubbing the paper towel. I looked at the can and noticed I grabbed the tire foam! ACK! I am so tired I can't even grab the right can!

I thought that my little boy was so sweet and tender. But the main word in that is BOY. He is ALL boy. Rough and tumble, dirt and mud, and crazy and loud! Yikes! He has hit his head more in one week of having a bunk bed than he has in his three years of his life!

The other mom's at my daughter's dance class can be so catty. I am trying not to stick my nose into their business and get involved with any of them. They are so rude and don't even realize or maybe care that I am sitting in a chair trying to watch my kid dance too! I guess next week I may have to get out the BIG guns and drag my chair up to the window and block them. Maybe I should let Little E bring his drum set and bang on it. It might drive them out the door.

I love watching Teen Mom on MTV. I am guilty of enjoying watching those young moms try to make it with or without a man to help them. This week's episode definitely confirmed their maturity for me. I think the only one I have a heart for is Maci. She seems to have her head on straight and has really grown up in the year after giving birth to her son Bentley.

Read an article on FB today from Seventh Generation company about BPA in receipts. Can you believe that BPA is in the paper and ink that is used? It's crazy! I have tried to be more health conscious but where do you draw the line?

I can't wait until it cools off some around here. I need to have a yard sale but it's so hot I couldn't face sitting in the heat to sell my stuff for small cash. My husband has suggested renting a storage unit until we can find the time to organize the yard sale. I am not looking forward to it.

Miss K seems to not be enjoying going back to school. I told her tomorrow was the last day and she thought that I meant the last day for the year. I explained to her that it was the last day for the week. Did she really think it was one week of school and then one off? I think she is jealous that Little E stays home with me.

I hate summer colds. This is my first one in years and it's knocking me down. It makes it worse that I'm already exhausted from getting up by 6:00am every day. I am looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday.

I still need to send out thank you's for Little E's birthday party that I had July 19th and now Miss K's from the 8th. I am so bad. I need to enlist the kids in getting this done with me. It might actually motivate me to finish it.

Looking forward to Sunday! We're taking the kids to Blue Springs to cool off in the 72 degree water for the afternoon.

New Friend Fridays

Writer's Workshop- What my little girl might say

This week I chose prompt #1 for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Dear Mommy/Daddy write a letter from one of your children to you. I loved this idea.

Miss K- October 2009

Dear Mommy,

I never realized how much work you put into the week to take care of me. I haven't put much thought into even one day of the stuff you do for me. It's nice to have a mommy wake me up and let me crawl back into the recliner when I am not ready to face the world. I love that you make my breakfast for me and put it on the table. I enjoy sitting next to my brother even if we do get into trouble if we talk or play too much. I really wish you would let me have chocolate milk and get rid of the red container of milk. It tastes yuck! Have you tried it yet? I really wish you would get the purple container again. I promise I will drink at least two glasses a day. Pretty please.
Thank you for picking out my outfit everyday. I wish you would just let me wear my flip flops to school. I don't mind wearing them all the time.
I know I should make my bed faster and get dressed instead of playing with my toys but it's more fun. I am a big girl now and I can get it all done before we leave. I know I should read the clock but what fun is that?
I love it when you pick me up from school. Thank you for getting there on time yesterday because I was worried the first day. You took a LONG time. It was getting hot out there on the sidewalk. I know the other kids were waiting too but it seemed like forever.
I wish you would let me have a snack of chocolate chip cookies instead of the banana or apple in the afternoon. It will fill me up more. I promise that I won't get "hyper" as you say. I'll share the cookies with Little E. I promise. Really!
Thank you for picking up my toys while I went to school. I know I forgot to turn off my radio again but Teeko likes to listen to the music. It'll be okay mom. Can we get a slushee everyday? I love the slushees. They are refreshing.
Thank you mom for reminding me to brush my teeth and hair every night. I am forgetful and I am so busy playing on the bunk bed that I forget. I love you mommy. You are the best and I love you.
Can we get a slushee now?
Miss K

Mama's Losin' It

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I've Been Tagged

I was recently tagged by one of my best
blog friend's Laura, The Purse Blogger.
The rules are pretty simple
Answer the tagger's 8 questions, tag 8 more people
and come up with 8 questions for them.

Laura's Questions:

1. How old were you when you had your first kiss? My first kiss with a tongue was when I was 12

2. What is your favorite cereal? I like cereal so this is a tough one. My most favorite is Honey Bunches of Oats, but if I'm feeling like a kid again I'll eat a bog bowl of Reese's Puffs.

3. Are you a patient person? umm, no. But I do have moments that I surprise myself!

4. What is one of your pet peeves? drivers who do not use their blinkers!

5. Brad Pitt: Love him or hate him? neither

6. Who's blog would you love to take over for a day? Shell's at Thing's I Can't Say

7. What is your dream car? anything Lexus

8. Do you have a Mac or Windows? Windows

My eight tagged:

Mama's Little Chick

2. Mama's Pixie Dreams

3. Kerri's Clutter

4. Just Another Mom of 2

5. Brown Eyed Girl's Ramblings

6. tales from the sippy cup

7. Running Away? I'll help you pack

8. If The Crown Fits

My Questions:

1. What size shoe do you wear?

2. Would you ever shop at Goodwill?

3. How many tv's do you have in your house? Are any in the kid's rooms?

4. Do you like brussel sprouts?

5. Have you ever visited another country?

6. Have you ever shot a gun?

7. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

8. What is your favorite season?


Tuesday Tag Along

Welcome followers and new comers
I'm feeling frisky today and posting for a second time
I think I've got my groove back!

Tuesday Tag-Along

Isn't that just the cutest face ever?
Yeah I know I am biased because he IS my son and
I think he's just so handsome.
Today was day 2 for Little E without his big sister around
and day 1 at work with me ALL to himself.
He's handling it better than I thought.

After I opened some boxes he climbed into them.
Silly Boy!

Post It Note Tuesday: Just Breathe

I love me some Post It Note Tuesday
it has been my relief, some where to vent on occasion
why don't you join?!

Monday, August 16, 2010

First Day Back

Ready to go on the first day of second grade
Back pack-check
Lunch Box-check
New Outfit-check
New shoes-check
Prepared to wake up early- not checked

Looking for friends while we wait
for the teacher

Picking up Miss K after school
she tells me "mom, get in the parent pick up
line earlier next time. I thought you weren't coming"
if it was only that easy. It was pure chaos!
The city police were directing traffic and making it worse!!
I was directed away from the school entrance the first time
and told I would have to loop around and come back again!!
Let's just say tomorrow I will try to get there earlier.