Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out-Lottery

My life as I know has changed or at least will be changing forever as I know it. I will be embarking on an adventure that I never thought would happen unless I won the lottery. In less than six weeks I will become a Stay at Home Mom.
I started working when I was 15 years old. I worked part time until I got my first full time job at a bank when I was 19. From that point on I have always held a full time job and until I turned 21 I worked and tried to attend college classes. When I started working for my parents I was at a crossroads. I was single at the time, I had just quit my high stress management position job and was looking for a stepping stone job. Never did I think that I would marry my husband, have 2 children and stay working full time at that job for 11 years.
Many times I wanted to move on and find something else. I had always worked in the retail world and I was beginning to get burned out. Then I got pregnant with my daughter and still decided to go back to work. I never thought much about staying home to raise her. I think part of it was being a first time mom to a cranky, fussy baby and the fact that my husband and I were saving to buy our first house.
It only continued on from that point we bought a new house and of course we bought new cars, new furniture and so forth. Along the way I decided that I wanted to add to the family so we bought my SUV. A year and half later we welcomed my son into the family. That is when the tug really started. I did not want to go back to work.
But I also did not want to give up the lifestyle I was used to. I wanted to still be able to have both vehicles, the freedom to go out and have our family insured. I went back to work. I think I may have even had a hint of post pardum depression. I was really sad about going back to work and leaving my son in the hands of daycare staff.
Needless to say now that I really think about it, it has not been an easy road. There have been many signs along the way to tell me stay home.
Little E is now in his third daycare since he was born. When he was in the last one before the one he is currently in I was starting to have doubts about working. I was frustrated with the fact that I was mostly working to pay for daycare, health insurance, gas and maybe a wee bit of spending money. The main reason: health care. Even if I quit working at that time, my family did not qualify for assistance for health care. So I continued on.

Personally, it is very stressful to work for family. If you have never done it, you cannot even begin to know what it's like. Your parents have a hard time separating child from employee. They cannot show favoritism so you're supposedly treated like an employee, but then you are expected to be this outstanding employee. Which I was. But I draw the line when you call my cell phone when you can't figure something out and give me crap. When I should have never answered the phone because I was OFF WORK.
To sum it up without having to list all the things that would happen or rear their ugly head, they all kept pointing in the same direction. That I really needed to find a way home. Did I ever think it would happen? No.
This last Friday my husband sends me a text message that said " you never have to work again. They gave me a raise that allows you to stay home". I was speechless. My stomach dropped and I was nervous and happy and excited all at once.
I was nervous as heck because I would have to tell my parents that I was leaving. Nervous because this is all new to me. I am soo excited because I will be spending the summer with my babies! I get to spend Saturdays with my husband and kiddos! One BIG thing my husband has been looking forward to for nine years!
So I worked up the courage and told my mom on Saturday an hour before work was over. She was happy and sad all at the same time. I was not about to tell my father. I gave them six weeks. I figured that they need time to find another employee and I could train them a few weeks. Miss K ends school in six weeks and will be out for summer vacation. I don't want to pull her out of her after school care and disrupt her right near the end of the year. It also give Little E a few more weeks with his new friends and then he's leaving his daycare. I'm not sure what the future will bring.
Will I teach Little E preschool until he's 4? I don't know. What I do know is that my kids will be enjoying time with mom. Miss K and I have already started a list of trips and "to do's" for the summer. And when Miss K enters the second grade I will decide on what schooling Little E will get. I really want to try schooling him at home. For a 2 1/2 year old he knows quite a bit already so I'll go from there.
All I know is that when the school bell rings on June 4th, my life changes forever.

Again, just a brief reminder that everyone linking is pouring their hearts out and we should all be respectful in our comments. ;)



Evonne said...

When I was working I felt like I was only doing it to pay for child care and transportation. Add the stress from my job to that and it was unbearable! Thankfully my husband got a new job and I was able to stay home. It was definitely a change and we've had to alter a few things, like our budget, but I love it!

Good luck!

Shell said...

Wow, you have a big change coming up! So exciting!

I chose to stay at home in a large part because I made practically nothing as a teacher and by the time we had 3 kids, daycare cost more than I would make working. So, it would actually hurt us to have me work!

You'll have so much fun this summer!

Thanks for linking up!

We 2 Bees said...

I am so happy for you! Congratulations! I know it will be a new change but one that you will LOVE! God works all things out! LOVE YOU!

Tylaine said...

Yay for staying home! That'll be a big change. I'm sure noone can imagine how hard it is working with a family (I know I can't) it's stressful enough staying home! I did work when my son was about 1 and it was really hard leaving him everyday (even though he was with my husband) I know I sure miss my job sometimes and it can be really hard being home with the kids all day but I wouldn't change it for anything! :)

Beth said...

What an incredible blessing! I hope you enjoy every little minute! :)

Kendra said...

Congrats! You'll love being home wiht them!