How do you regain focus and perspective on being away from your kids/family for work? How do you refresh and get back on track when life seems to get you down?
This is a great question for me since I've been dealing with some separation issues with Little E. Up until about two weeks ago E never had a problem with me leaving him at daycare. It was the same routine with hugs and kisses, waves goodbye through the classroom window and blowing lots of kisses as I pull away. Now after we walk through the door of the building he grabs my leg and drags his body as I try to walk into his classroom. I have stayed calm through his clingyness and tried to explain in a positive voice that "mommy will be back, you go play." Yeah.. that's not working. Today (as it breaks my heart to do so) I told him I was leaving and I didn't like his behavior. It worked. He picked himself up from the floor, ran over to me and said "mommy I want kisses and hugs".
It breaks my heart to leave him. It has nothing to do with who is taking care of him. The daycare that he attends is the same one that his sister went to for three years. I just don't like the feeling that I'm letting him down. I'm sure five minutes after I leave he's running around, laughing and playing.
I have learned to let go of my doubts. I know he'll be okay and when the day is over and I pick him up, he'll be smiling and laughing. When I leave work, work stays at work. I shut that part off and I'm mommy. The multi-tasking hat I wear.
I have to listen to my heart but also let my heart lead me where I should be. I know that by working and making money I am providing for my children. By sacrificing having every day, ALL day with makes me put more quality into the evenings spent with them.
I try not to miss bedtimes but on the nights I do miss, my husband is ALWAYS there to read the bedtime story. Once I get home I never miss that goodnight kiss on my sweet babes cheeks as they sleep.
I pray. I pray to God that I'm making the right choices. I listen to his direction and hope that I'm following his word. I have to put my faith in that basket.
So unless I win the lotto or my husband gets a HUGE pay raise, this is how I'll be coping with my separation anxiety with my kids. Don't judge unless you've walked in my shoes. Live, Love and Laugh A LOT!
5 comments:
Drop offs are hard. Always have been for me. I've learned some things that work for my kids and some that don't. I dread leaving them, but know they are in good hands. They (the kids) have so many little emotions and they don't always know how to express them other than to cry. So hard..
Keep on, keepin on, mama!
Well said Tiffany. I hate the fact that my kids have such a long day at school (and then after school), but I have to work. No other way around it (unless I win the lottery or get a HUGE pay raise). Best, Pippi
I RELY on my commute. It's 15 minutes to and from work, and I actually like the wind-down time. It gives me a chance to decompress, regain my bearings, and chit chat with my mom or a friend on the phone (hands free, people, I'm a good driver, I promise!).
~Elizabeth
Confessions From A Working Mom
great post. loved your encouraging words. often times when i get home from work, i don't disturb the kids... i think now, i'll go kiss them goodnight. thanks for that.
Very well written! I love to kiss them goodnight when they are sleeping! But I'm like you I try not to be away unless I have too!
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